When God Says, What If? How Your Purpose Will Impact The World

Chapter 4 - But... Expect Mosquitos

Ok – so if we are going on a path with God, and we are going to stop listening to what people say to us or say about us, then we are going to need to be ready for one more thing – Mosquitos. Grab your can of Off, or whatever repellant you have and your fly swatter even and get ready!! Because if there is one thing I can guarantee, they will be out in force.

No, I am not talking about actual mosquitos, but I am talking about pesky little things that will pop up and get in the way. But the good news is if you are prepared, and if you are ready for them, they won't be any worse than mosquitos. You wear bug spray to protect yourself, swat any that you see buzzing around, or if worse comes to worst, you grab the itchy cream (as my girls call it) and you go on.

I am talking about pretty much anything that is going to get in your way. A lot of our success depends on our ability to move quickly past things that try to disrupt our momentum. This could be anything really. A negative comment, an unexpectedly large bill, the car breaking down, an argument with a family member, a job loss, any of these things can get in the way if we let them. Our goal is to expect problems and be quick to identify their cause, identify the appropriate level of concern needed, and then move on.

This is something businesses do really well that most people don't. Businesses anticipate problems and actually plan ahead of time for how they will deal with them. I spent many years of my career working in Information Technology and specifically on problem management. But the focus wasn't just on how to manage the problems; instead, we focused heavily on how to prevent them. We would analyze problems from the perspective of trying to see if they could have been prevented, and if not, how we could prevent them from ever occurring again.

The other thing businesses do well is to assign a level of urgency to problems based on their impact. For example in Information Technology, if a system or application was down, we would first look for how many users were impacted, what the system was providing, and then the reaction would be commensurate to the impact. It made sense that an order entry system wouldn't get the same reaction as the 911 systems would. But most of us don't do that same kind of analysis of our problems in life. If you are anything like I used to be (and still am at times), I would get a high level of upset for most problems. I didn't seem to understand that problems and challenges were just part of life, and really should be expected, and I also didn't put any real thought into preventing problems from occurring. While I am not suggesting we should use process mapping for our lives the way businesses do for their strategic processes, I do think we can do far better in how we handle life's bumpy roads.

I am better today. I try to pause when a problem arises and put it into perspective. I ask myself questions calmly when I can as to what control I have over the situation to fix it, or have prevented it, and then I decide how to move forward. Many of the things I used to get really upset over don't have that power over me today. Instead, I see as many as I can as mosquitos. Annoying? Heck yeah. Life-threatening – not unless I let them eat me alive!!

Ok so I am trying to be humorous here, but that is good too. Always remember that laughter used at the right time can take so much pressure off. It truly is good medicine, so use it as often as you can. I once heard Rita Davenport say that the secret to dealing with problems is "to laugh sooner." Some things that felt so challenging at the moment, we look back on in life years later or even weeks later and laugh. Her advice was to laugh as soon as possible.

Do you ever notice that sometimes problems or challenges upset us because we are embarrassed or because we feel stupid? Sometimes it isn't the actual problem we are upset about, but that it happened to us. These are the ones that we should learn to laugh earlier about. Don't take yourself too seriously. I know that is hard. I was a really, really serious person and took myself way too seriously for most of my life. I hated failing. But let's be honest – who doesn't? But now I don't take myself quite so seriously. Why? Because I realized that God made me in a way where I am allowed to fail. It is human and when I look at the challenges in a different way – actually in the right way – they are there as teachers, to help me to get better.

So expect challenges in life. Expect life to be harder some days than others. Expect that there will always be things outside of our control that will pop up at inconvenient times. But seek to look past them as fast as you can. Don't dwell unless you have to. Analyze the problem as objectively as you can. Keeping emotion out of a challenge allows better focus. Look at the impact clearly, and do your best not to overreact. Then take action as quickly as you can. Do you ever notice that it feels better to act when you have a problem than to dwell in thought and worry?

Also take some hints from businesses and how they manage problems, changes, and work to prevent problems. Having a methodical way of dealing with challenges may sound silly, but in reality, it is a whole lot better than just reacting from a place of fear. In life, like in business, we can get better at how we handle life's many challenges.

But we aren't done in this chapter yet. I saved the big one for last. There is something else that we need to use our mosquito swatting ability on, and it probably is more important than the challenging circumstances in life that will pop up. I am talking about our own negative thoughts. I believe this is the thing that stops more people in their tracks than anything else. In order to walk on our new path, the one that is perfect for us, we have to be strong in our thinking and we need to be ready for those negative thoughts that will undoubtedly pop up.

For me, I actually swat my leg sometimes as a reminder to not let things stay in my mind for long. It's like when you look down and see a mosquito on your arm. You know if you don't react quickly you are going to get stung. It is the same way with our negative thoughts. We have to react quickly to change them. Sometimes a physical act, or a change in physiology, is a better disrupter than just trying to replace the thought. If you have ever watched Tony Robbins or attended one of his events you will see how Tony uses changes in physiology to enact what he calls "state" changes. To try it for yourself, look in the mirror when you are upset about something and put on a big smile. Even if it isn't real and you aren't feeling it, you will see how that simple action quickly starts changing your thoughts. It is an amazing ability of the body – so let's use it.

We need whatever weapons we can to fight off the disruptors that we know will come. Joel Osteen often times talks about changing the channel on your negative thoughts. He describes it as a television screen, where either we stay watching whatever channel that pops up (good or bad), or we quickly change the channel to one that is empowering, supportive, positive, and will help us on our path. Swat the mosquito, change the channel, smile at yourself – whatever it takes, but be ready, the negative thoughts will undoubtedly come.

The important thing to remember is that there is really only one thing we can control in life, and that is our thoughts. If we want to be our best we have to really consider what we allow in our thoughts. Are we building ourselves up, thinking about all great things, reflecting on all we are most thankful for or are we allowing the noise of the world with all that is wrong to invade our thoughts? Are we choosing what we think, or are we allowing our thoughts to change with our circumstances? I used to be terrible at this, and frankly still have to work hard not to let bad thoughts in.

In Philippians 4:8 Paul tells us, "For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]. I love this scripture and try to remember it when I am stressed or when things aren't going my way. As I said I have to work hard to keep my mind focused, but the results of thinking positively far outweigh the effort. I can't tell you the difference it has made in my life.

Remember that what we believe in our thinking, is true for us. I know now that we either believe what God says about us, or we believe what the world says. One will lead us to the life that we are meant to live, and unfortunately the other will not. While I know some people argue that they can have a great life without God, without faith, I can only stand on the lessons I have learned and what God has taught me. I know what my life was without God, and I know now all that it can be. To me, there is no comparison.