Professor Kashi

Orphange

Adam, First Person:

We grew up in an orphanage. My story is the classic, my mother got pregnant at a young age and couldn't take care of me. I don't know where my mom or dad is but she left a letter behind for each of my birthdays. Until I turned 21 then she stopped. I'm 24 now.
Shiro on the other hand was abandoned by his father. He was left on the door step only being alive for a couple hours. Shiro is older than me by only a little more than a year, but we've grown up together. We shared rooms for our whole lives.
Until I was adopted. I was 13, me and Shiro were always next to each other. We did everything together. He would make sure I got my food first, take a shower first, always introduce me to the adults first.. I was always first. I was chosen first because of him.
When I left it's like I didn't really leave, my new family only lived about 15 minutes away from the orphanage and since they knew we were technically brothers at the time I would visit 24/7, on my way home after school, on the weekends I would sometimes sleepover and they would let me!
I would tell Shiro about all the new people I would meet, the older we got.. the more sad he became. I brought a girlfriend over one time to introduce them to each other and he wanted nothing to do with her. She swore I was gay because I could only really hold hands with her at 16.
One weekend I came into the orphanage and Shiro wasn't there. I thought he got adopted.
I thought I lost him.
I didn't leave his room, I stayed in his room crying and crying.. thinking that he was so mad at me that he decided to leave or something.
I cried so much that I passed out that night on his bed, to be woken up by him with a cupcake.
He told me how this college professor came in and took him out for the day, showing him the real world. His name was Professor Iverson.
They went out for cupcakes as well that night since he never had one. Shiro sat next to me and he told me..
"I love you."
Our whole lives it feels like we've been saying it to each other sense we were our only real family. But the way he said it was different.
He told me how he hates it when I would bring a girl over or tell him about all my guy friends.. when he started telling me all of this I started noticing so many things. During the locker room before gym I couldn't look at any guys cause I was only used to changing in front of Takashi. I would always hug him, hold hands, all this stuff that normal couples would do.. that I couldn't even do in a real relationship.
I was at a lost for words.
He thought I rejected him.
Slowly he started walking out of the room and I pulled him close and just stood there..
He pulled my head up..
and kissed me.
It was a soft kiss, both of our first kiss lost to each other.
It's like the whole entire world froze, nothing mattered. My stress for finals disappeared, having to clean the kitchen, thinking I lost him. Those feelings disappeared and all I felt was..
Love.
Later that day he introduced me to this younger kid named Keith who was very fond of Shiro.
He seemed pretty quite but if him and Shiro were getting close, then I knew he was special. They kinda have a similar story... kinda. He introduced me to this dude named Mark that was put in a couple months ago and little did I know, Shiro vented to Mark about how much I meant to him so it's like Mark knew who I was.
The next day I meet up with my girlfriend and told her, "You might be right, I probably am gay. So i'm breaking up with you."
She smiled.
"Oh yeah I kind of knew this whole time, It's that Shiro fellow right? It was pretty obvious he hated me being there so that meant jealousy."
I hugged her and told her not to tell anyone.
She agreed.
Now this is where this story turns for the worst.
Me and Shiro went to the same college and there we quite a lot of parties and clubs around. Shiro was never one for those but I enjoyed them. About 4 months ago, one night this random dude in my department,, let's call him Sam because to be honest I don't remember his name. He came up to me.
"H-Hey you're Adam right? Listen I know you're gay and I wanted to experiment a little bit hehe."
"Okay not gonna happen. I have a boyfriend."
"Theeeeen maybe you can introduce me to some of your fellow gays? Take me to a club or something.."
"One, don't call them fellow gays unless you ARE a fellow gay. Two, I don't even know you why would you want me to take you to a gay bar?"
"Well none of my friends would take me cause I think they're a little homophobic BUTTT it would be a great idea."
"I don't want to."
"I'll pay for your drinks."
"Hmm.."
"I'll pay for our Uber."
"Deal. Tomorrow night, meet me outside this building at 9pm."
"But that's a Tuesday night! No ones gonna be there!"
"Haha you'll see."
I planned on telling shiro that I was going, and I did! Well not exactly.. I told him I was taking a friend to a party and that I would be home soon. He was cool about it and let me go.
We meet up.
Get in the Uber.
Get inside the club.
I sit at the bar and order a martini.
Sam was running around like a child in a candy store.
Next thing you know Mark was sitting next to me. We talked for a while and he started ordering more and more and more drinks.
I started seeing things, my head wasn't on straight. I thought I saw Keith in the club.
Next thing I know I feel Mark's mouth on mine, he was pushing it, going to far, I didn't want this. I pushed away, breathing heavy.
Only to turn to see Keith staring at me.
Shit.
Please.
Keith.
I swear it's not what you think.
He's gonna tell Shiro.
He tells Shiro everything.
He starts backing away from me.
I wasn't seeing things. He's 19. He can go into clubs.
I stand up and fall straight to the ground.
I start sobbing.
Oh god what have I done.