Them (completed)

Chapter 29: Her

Chapter 29: Her

I had been waiting for weeks to get my hands on Rena Willis journals. I knew what ever Chris was hiding from would be in those journals. I had to read them. I wanted to move froward in our relationship and I couldn't do that if Chris was hiding something from me. I believed him when he said he never cheated on me. But, after that conversation with Dr. Valentin I got a little suspicious. What did she mean I was pregnant. I think I would know if I were pregnant. I even went back to her office to talk to her about it but she kept saying, “I must have had the wrong person.” I knew she was lying. If I wanted the truth I had to read those journals. When Cole called me while I was at the hospital with Chris telling me the journals were in his possession for 24 hours, I rushed out of the hospital like a bat out of hell leaving Chris on his own. Nothing was going to stop me from reading those journals. I was planning to read them in less then 10 hours.

I've been reading the journals for 3 hours now. This lady wrote everything down from the way Chris walked to the way he smelled. Rena Willis or should I say Candy, her stripper alter ego ex-con had some serious issues. The Journals were all written from Candy's point of view and I'm pretty sure Rena Willis had no idea Candy existed. I find that ironic seems how Rena's a therapist. According to Candy, she came around to protect Rena from further heart break. Whatever that means. I felt bad that Rena had to die for something she had no clue about and could not control. It sucked.

It was approaching 8 at night when I got to Candy's last entry in her journal. She was talking about the session when I figured out she had a thing for my man. From that entry she really did not like me. She thought I was an ungrateful black woman who didn't appreciate Chris. She clearly wanted me out of the picture so she could move in on my man. I continued to read about Chris talking about the day we lost Renee.

Candy wrote; Chris broke down and said, “I've been keeping something from Shay that I can't tell her but I fell extremely guilty about.”

Once I read that I started to read fast just to get to the secret. Then I read Candy write, 'The thing is neither one of us knew she was pregnant.' That's when my heart started to race and my head started pounding. I continued to read until I finished the entry. By the time I finished I was in tears. I wasn't crying because I didn't know I was pregnant. It wasn't sad tears it was angry tears. What aggravated me the most was everyone but me knew. The only innocent person was Nicole because she wasn't there and we were not speaking at the time. How could my best friend agree to lie to me. Even Tonya, who I wasn't speaking to at the moment knew. My brothers agreed to lie to me and so did Logan. My brothers lie to me about everything, they don't believe I can handle my own life. I expected that from them but my best friend, Marie. How could she do that to me. How could she tell Chris about me taking those pills when she swore she would keep her mouth shut. How could she? For the record I did not try to kill myself. Yes I did feel like dying but I wouldn't kill myself. I just wanted to sleep so I took more than one sleeping pill. It was only four. I had no intention of killing myself. I didn't care if I died because I was in so much pain and I just wanted it to stop. But I did not try to kill myself. I just want to sleep and if it meant taking 10 pill than I would have.

Chris lied to me again. I couldn't take anymore of the lying. I wasn't sure I still wanted to be with him either. I didn't even want to face Chris but I had to take my anger out on someone and Marie was the first person come to mind. I placed the journals back in the box and head to Marie's house in one of the FBI trucks.

Stevie greeted me at the door then pointed to the study, where Marie was. I found Marie stretched out on the love seat with a book in her hand. When she saw me she dropped the book and offered a smile but I was not smiling.