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i've decided that i will not be continuing the scheduling i have. i realized that i've been forcing out my creativity when i wasnt inspired enough for chapters, so it resulted in chapters that didnt fit my standards. they weren't well written, their plot was all jumbled, it just wasnt good enough for me. therefore, i'll be uploading whenever i feel inspired, but also not too far apart where its way too long. :))
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j o h n
I gently opened my eyes and turned around to see (Y/N). To my disappointment, she wasn't there. I frowned and sat up from the bed. I looked around the room and didn't see her. I climbed out of bed and headed down the stairs into the living room. I saw her cuddled up in a blanket, she was on her laptop editing a video.
I stepped into the living room and fixed my hair a bit. "I didn't hear you get out of bed, how'd you sleep?"
(Y/N) scoffed and cuddled deeper into her blanket. "I didn't."
I frowned and looked at her. "You mean you've been down here all night?"
She nodded and went back to editing. She reached out to the coffee table for a glass of water. That's when I saw her new markings on her arm.
"It happened again...didn't it?" I asked softly. She hesitated a bit, nodding gently afterwards. I frowned a bit and sighed, sitting next to her and pulling her close. "You okay?"
"I think so." She muttered softly. She leaned onto my chest and I cradled her gently. Every once in a while she would get like this. She used to keep it to herself but eventually she told me and I promised to help her with it.
A good ten or fifteen minutes may have passed and I heard Jaren coming down the stairs. Jaren caught us and he smirked. He walked into the kitchen and (Y/N) sat back onto the couch, continuing to edit. I met Jaren in the kitchen, who was currently getting cereal. There was a small moment of silence before he asked a question I didn't expect him to.
"How long has it been since...(Y/N) became...y'know." he asked hesitantly. I held my breath for a moment before responding.
"You know?" I responded. He replied with a slow nod.
"Last night. I couldn't sleep so I went out into the yard. I found her out there. She was drawing on her arm. Roses. She told me they were an alternative for harming herself." he replied. I sat down on a chair and looked at (Y/N), still in the living room. I could tell she was tired.
"(Y/N) came from a bad place. When she was young her mother was diagnosed with cancer. They put her on chemo and they said she would get better. Then one day...the chemo stopped working. The doctors gave her six months to live. She only lived for four. (Y/N) was devastated when her mother died. She must've been at least ten when it happened." I paused for a bit. Jaren frowned.
"I see. That's how it started?" He asked quietly. I shook my head.
"No. That was just the beginning. When (Y/N) was young her parents divorced. When her mother died, she went to go live with her father. He was a bad alcoholic. He took and dealt drugs. He used her for his dealers to get what he wanted. He abused her, yelled at her, hurt her. It was all that that made her believe that she wasn't good enough. That all she deserved was pain. One day she had enough, so she ran away and got a place of her own. Her father didn't even care. Didn't even bother to look for her. Then there was that day when she got evicted for the first time. She felt even more unwanted than ever. It was then when I found out she was hurting herself. (Y/N) was never one to hide herself from a summer day. (cant relate) She'd wore long sleeves and hoodies every day. We always asked her why. She never answered. Then one day she was trying to reach out for something, and her sleeve came off her arm. That's when I saw the scars. She told me everything afterwards. And I was so worried about her. I told her I didn't want to lose her. I made her promise not to ever do it again. She's kept her promise. I told her those were good alternatives. She seemed to take it pretty well. Every once in a while she gets these nightmares or anxiety attacks that make her do this. That's what she uses to cope." I said. Jaren frowned and looked at (Y/N).
"Damn. She's a lot tougher than I thought she was. I've always seen her smile and laugh, I never even knew about this." he mumbled. I patted his shoulder.
"She likes to keep it to herself. If people know they treat her differently. She just wants to be a normal person. So she keeps all of it a secret." I replied.
"Makes sense." He says. I smile a bit and I see (Y/N) dozing off on the couch. I chuckle softly and walk back into the living room. I stroke her hair gently.
"Tired, hmm?" I ask. She nods sleepily. She was struggling to stay awake. "Tell you what. I'll stay with you until you go to sleep, okay?"
I saw her smile and she nods again. "Okay."
I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom, setting her onto the bed gently and putting the blanket over her. I laid next to her, stroking her hair gently and watching her slowly fall asleep. After a while she was finally calmed down enough to fall asleep and placed a gently kiss on her forehead before leaving the bedroom and shutting the door quietly.
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im fucking sOFT :')
YOU ARE READING
evicted ➳ kryozgaming
Fanfiction"its a small-ass world out here but truth be told im glad i got stuck with you"
