Uriah and Tris

Im back!!!

Suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide.

I can't get it out of my head. Why the hell would Zeke be suicidal? What's going on with Shauna that would make him suicidal?

Why does this always happen to me?

Stop it. Focus on Zeke. Don't focus on what happened.

I take a deep breath and let my head hit the wall, as I've been doing the past half hour.

After Four left, my knees gave out and I ended up against the wall. And frankly I can't find it in me to get up just yet.

After a while, the door opens and the single most beautiful woman walks in.

"Hey. You didn't come to lunch so I was wond-" she cut off and laughs when she sees me on the floor. "Uri? What are you doing?" She asks, a smile lighting up her gorgeous face, making her stormy eyes twinkle.

I put on a smile for her. "Well Tris, there comes a time in a mans life where he just wants to sit on the floor and ignore the chair. This is that time."

Instead of her laughing and shaking her head at me like I expected her to, the smile falls from her face and is replace by a look of concern. "What's wrong?"

I give her a questioning look. I said a joke. And I consider my self a very good actor. She should have bought that.

She sighs and runs a hand through her blonde hair. "Uri. I can tell. I don't know I just can." She slides down the wall next to me and laces her fingers with mine. It's amazing how that one gesture of affection can relax me, and let me know that I can tell her. That I can tell her how confused and worried and utterly shattered I am because of Four's news.

I take a deep breath and pull her into my lap, burying my face in her hair.

"Talk to me." She whispers. "What's wrong?"

The hand that isn't in mine slides in between my back and the wall, rubbing comforting circles in between my shoulder blades.

"Zeke." I choke out.

"What about him?" She asks quietly, stilling rubbing my back.

"I'm worried about him. He's having... Issues. And I don't know what they are and I don't know how to talk to him and I don't know if he even wants to talk to me and I'm worried about him, about his safety." I say in one breath, pulling her so tight against me she probably has trouble breathing, but she doesn't say anything.

I feel like crying. Like letting out all this bottled emotion and just sobbing into her hair.

But I have to fight it.

I can't look weak.

I need to be strong.

I completely collapse into her, burying my face in her neck and sobbing. My lungs ache for air but every time I open my mouth I make this ugly animal sound. My tears stain her shirt and wet her skin, but she says nothing. Just rubs my back and makes soothing noises in my ear, occasionally kissing my head and whispering that she's here. That she's right here.

Eventually I calm down enough to be embarrassed about what I'm doing, about what's going on, and I pull away from her, furiously wiping my eyes and cheeks with my hands.

"Sorry." I say gruffly, not looking at her, not wanting to see the laughter I might see there at me being so stupid and week. Or the disgust that I'm not Dauntless enough to handle my feelings. Or worse yet, pity.

People who need pity are the sick and broken and hurting. The goddamn Factionless. I don't need pity, whoever the fuck it comes from.

I feel her lithe fingers caressing my cheek, before gently wrapping around my chin and pulling me to look at her.

And I see pity. Pity that I don't want. Pity that I don't need. And I definitely don't need anyone in my life who gives me pity.

And I get angry.

"Hey," she says soothingly. "It's ok. I'll help you figure out... Whatever this is."

I explode.

I wrench my self from her arms, standing up so quickly I knock her over.

"You don't need to do that. You don't need to do anything. I can handle this on my own. In fact, the only thing you need to do is get out."

She looks at me, still leaning back on her forearms on the floor, surprised, shocked, but nothing is registering with me except for the fact that I don't need her in my life anymore. No one who gives me pity is needed. Not now, not ever.

"Uriah, what-"

"Get out." I growl in between my teeth.

She stands up slowly, but instead of going to the door, she walks towards me, her blue eyes cautious.

"Uriah are you ok?" She asks gently, reaching out for me.

I jerk back, as if her touch were poison, which, it kind of is. "All will be right in the world as soon as you walk through that door." I glare at her.

She backs up, her eyes shinning slightly. She turns and walks out, shutting the door gently.

Only when I hear that click, is when I collapse into my chair.

Bwahaha I made y'all wait three weeks instead of two. >:) and then I went I did a semi-cliffy. Oh well you love me anyway. Soooo, you miss me?