Fix You.

[21]

The sunlight comes through the window and shines in my closed eyes, and all I see is bright red. I open my swollen eyes and a wave of memories from last night hit me like a bullet.

My heart drops when he is not lying beside me. I spring up to look for him, I search through out my apartment and he is not there. I panic, calling for him, hoping I missed him. I can't find him. A million thoughts are racing through my head as I run out my door in his big shirt, tears spilling out of my already swollen eyes. I rush down to his apartment door and knock on the door. No answer. I knock louder to hear no response.

I open the door, and rush to the back bedroom. His door is closed, I try to open it to only find that is locked.

"Dally!" I scream between sobs, "Let me in!"

No answer.

"Dallas! Please..." I can hardly speak. "Please don't be dead.. I love you! I love you even if you don't love me back! Even if you can't love me back... I love you more than anything in this world and you can't be dead... Please... "

There is no answer from behind the door. I scream and run out of the door to head toward his window. I run across glass and rocks, but I feel nothing.

I pick up a rock and throw it at his window, cursing when it only leaves a crack. I keep throwing and throwing it, getting further away from Dallas.

It finally breaks and I push past all the glass, and climb into his bedroom window.

I gasp at the sight before me.

Dallas has a gun, playing with it in his hands.

"Dally... no...!" I scream at him.

"What are you doing here." His question sounds like a statement.

"Stop Dallas! You don't want to do this.. this is permanent ... you're not gonna wake up from this..." I am sobbing again.

"I know what I'm doing." He raises the gun to his head.

"No you fucking don't!" I lunge for him.

One half of me says that I'm stupid, that he has a gun, that he'll blow us both away.

Another part of me knows he won't shoot me, that I love him, and if he does shoot, at least I'll be with him.

I knock the gun away from his head, it blows a hole in the ceiling as we fall.

I push the gun across the room as I sit on top of him. I know he could get away if he wanted to, but he doesn't have the energy, and I know it.

I hug him and he just lays there, motionless. I cry onto his shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" He says after a while.

"Because I love you." I reply.

There is a silence.

"I love you too."