The Afternoon tea club: 2014 #WATTYS2014

Hiccups

“Hey Vine!”

“Yes?”

She looked at me suspiciously, like always. She always seemed to think I was going to say something that would trigger her head to explode.

“My hair is going spazzy!”

“I can see that.”

We walked in silence for a while, towards the dining hall.

“I don’t want to be a geisha!”

“What?!”

“A geisha! I’d be horrible at it. Knowing me, I’d trip and fall into mud, and I sure as hell couldn’t make guys crash into a cart just by looking at them!”

Geishas are a Japanese woman who goes to this special school where beauty is the most important thing. They go through a lot, and I mean a lot, of pain just for beauty. They’re not around anymore, but still. They were said to be able to stun a man just by looking at him

“Oh, Jade, you wouldn’t be that bad. I couldn’t do it either.”

“Actually, I could.”

Vine looked at me curiously.

“Want to see how?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. Time for my secret weapon. I turned my head away and did a head flick thing and looked back at her with the ugliest face I could muster. She burst out laughing as I straightened my face out again.

“I think I could make guys crash into a wall with that weapon!”

“Yes, yes you could.”

By this time we had reached the dining hall and we entered, heading to Vine’s table as I had no desire to be the awkward one standing all-alone at my table. We were the first people into the dining hall.

“Jaaaaddddeee!”

“What?”

“You made me get hiccups!”

“Cause I’m just that hilarious!”

She smiled as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Oh! Drink upside-down! That gets rid of them!”

“Really!”

“Yup!!!”

She bent over, preparing for the feat of drinking she was about to preform.

At this moment, I decided it would be an awesome idea to crack a joke. What joke, I cannot recall what, but according to Vine it was hilarious.

“Bwahahahahahaha!”

Vine sprayed the water all over the floor, doubling over. I stared at her incredulously.

She crouched on the ground, doubled over with laughter.

“Vine!”

I joined in on her laughter as older years stared at us like we had suddenly become walruses.

“Are yo-“ I laughed. “Ok?”

“Yes!”

She stood up, bright red with embarrassment. I cracked up again. Just at that moment, the bell rung to signal us to go to our tables, and with a quick wave at lobster-Vine, I did.

 ********Time warp********

Lunch was over.

“Suuuuusssaaann!” I yelled into the crowd that milled around outside the dining hall.  I couldn’t see her so I grabbed ahold of Vine who had the unfortunate luck to be beside me.

“Let us go on a grand adventure!” I half-yelled, earning some weird looks from those around. Did I care? No.

We walked up to the science labs, entering into the funny smelling room.

“Today we are working……..”

I zoned out until the teacher mentioned the sacred word, ‘laptops.’

I pulled mine out, opening it straight up to Wattpad, making sure it was situated on a different desktop to my actually work. I browsed Wattpad, occasionally glancing at the teacher to make sure I wouldn’t get caught.

“Mrs Rew!!!!” The girl who was sitting next to me yelled. Crap.

I hastily x-ed out of Wattpad, cutting off my communication with a certain Wattpadder Clone as my science teacher walked to the girl next to me.

“What is it, Sophie?”

 Questions flowed out of her mouth like there was no tomorrow. Why!?

I actually started to do my work, then realizing there was a much more interesting thing I could be doing. Vine and Shelly sat in the two seats to one side of me, not a good combo, Mrs Rew, not a good combo at all.

I poked Vine. She ignored me, so what did I do? I poked her again. No reaction.

Poke, poke, poke, poke.

“Can I help you?”

She narrowed her eyes at me.

“Vinnnee!” I threw my arms around her, gaining an ‘oomph’ on her part.

“I’m not Vine.”

“What?” I looked at her in confusion.

“I’m Shelly!” She said happily. I glanced at the real Shelly in confusion and she just grinned at me like a manic.

“Well then, Shelly. I am Vine!” I exclaimed.

“No, that is Vine.”

She pointed at Shelly. This was going to get confusion.

“Vine is Vine and Shelly is Shelly.” She stated, waiting for me to understand.

“I see! I need another name then!”

“I dub you John!”

“What!?”

“You are John! Hello John!” The Shelly-now-Vine stated.

“Ok!”

Mrs Rew had finally left so I logged back into Wattpad, diverting my attention from Shelly-Vine and Vine-Shelly. I restarted my conversation with a certain Wattpadder, we shall call him Elyas.

 

Jade: *Jumps out of plane*

Elyas: GERONIMO

Jade:AHhhhhh... Doctor Who reference!!!!

Jade: Allons-Y!!!!

Elyas: No jumping out of a plane reference.

Jade: Still. Hidden and obscure Doctor Who reference.

Jade: Cause DW is awesome!!!

Elyas: Because I’m the doctor!

Jade: *Doctor

Elyas: Now you’re going all Susan on me. * look of terror * WHY?

 

I laughed, earning weird looks from Vine, Shelly and the teacher. I quickly pretended to be doing my work again.

“Hey John!”

“Yes Shel- Vine?”

“Were going to confuse Cinda and Susan!!! Want to join in?”

“Sure thing, Vine, Sure thing.”