Every Breath You Take [RDJ Fanfic] - COMPLETED

Eighty Nine

I don't remember falling asleep but sometime while the sun was still up I must have dozed off. Robert had gone to finish doing whatever he was needed for with his director for the day, working later into the evening than anticipated, and despite our discussion, I was still too shaken up to be productive. I wanted to call Devin but didn't want to talk about it just yet, and my mom would just scold me that he's to old or his life is too complicated or whatever... So, I layed down on the bed, and let my emotions get the best of me, gripping the pillow and letting out the tears that needed to come. I must have cried myself to sleep.

It isn't a bad cry, it's just one of those cries where you need to let the stress out, you know?  Like we discussed it, so we're on the same page.  I understand.  I'm not too surprised.  But with how pent up I've been since he found out what I was doing...I'm almost just feeling so relieved that I'm upset, as if that makes any sense...

Anyway, I'm not even fully awake, but I stir when I hear a rustle of the sheets and the bed dips down with added weight. Robert's scent hits my nose before I even open my eyes, followed by his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to his body. He intertwines his fingers with mine and then I feel his lips on my neck before he settles in and quietly holds on.

After a few quiet moments, I squeeze his hands, holding them against my chest in content.

"Did I wake you?" he whispers, but doesn't dare move.

"Yeah, but it's okay," I send back, eyes still closed, but I press further back into his body. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

He breathes deeply, running his thumbs across my hands as he holds them. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I just want to hold my girlfriend for a little while..."

He sounds sad, and I know he's beating himself up inside. He's trying to fix it, even after we talked, and I don't know how to make it better, so I kiss his hands lazily and feel the rise and fall of his chest behind me until mine syncs up. The only plus? There's something extremely content about the silence that follows. No words are needed. No small talk, no long, detailed discussions... Just his heart beating with mine and his facial hair brushing against my neck just above my shoulder.

Eventually, I realize I can't sleep again without wearing myself out; I have no idea what time it is, but I feel too guilty still over the message in the first place. Writing that about Chris like it was okay...

"I'm sorry, Robert..." I whisper, as sincere as I can make it.

"Don't," he tries to comfort, but I'm too emotional as I cling onto his hands.

"I should've come to you. I should've said something, or-"

"Babe, please stop," he begs, tightening his grip around me. "You were right...I have a temper and I take advantage of this popularity sometimes." He hesitates. "You don't really think I'm using again, do you...?"

It's so soft it hurts and I can tell he's holding his breath as he tries to be patient. He's really desperate...hopeful I won't say yes. I don't have a reason to, either way.

"No," I promise. "I trust you. I was upset, and-"

"Stop apologizing," he orders politely, letting out his held breath.

I don't know how to answer so I stop talking, sighing into his body mold. His thumbs are moving more wildly, restless. I can feel him place a few frantic kisses on my neck again, and then he tangles his legs with min, feet against my own like he needs to be as close as possible. It's cute, but the reasoning behind it makes my chest hurt...and my back, when I realize there's a metal, circular ring pressing against my back.