Every Breath You Take [RDJ Fanfic] - COMPLETED

Ninety Nine

Truth be told?  I can't sleep.

It's been three hundred and sixty four days since I OD'd.  And it feels like a really long fucking time, but at the same time, I remember it pretty vividly.  Including Robert coming to my rescue, though that parts a little fuzzy now. 

I'm not having nightmares about it or anything, but my brain's just over active, thinking about all the shit that's changed since then.  Even worse than almost dying...rehab, and the nervousness I had coming back to set to see him.  God, how did that even happen?  Me, visiting set of a major movie, going to see the star that shouldn't even know my name.  It's like there's that version of him, and then the version of him that I see now.  The movie star, and the kinky little shit in my bed right now.  Er...our bed.  In our house, that used to be just his house...  Weird, isn't it?

Anyway, despite how cute he looks lying on his stomach with his back bare and his arms under his pillow for support, I can't quite process everything.  The memories, the way we awkwardly had to say goodbye to guests after disappearing for nearly an hour during his party...  Honestly, I'm a little weirded out still about what went down, even if he enjoyed it...  So I gather a hoodie and some pajama pants and head outside while the sun's still coming up, wanting some fresh air.

But sitting on the steps of the back porch overlooking the fields and the ocean doesn't help me clear my mind...it just helps me focus further on the things filling it.

First of all, last night...  Last night was interesting.  And not a bad interesting, I just feel...embarrassed?  I don't know.

He didn't hesitate to rush me with an opened mouth kiss the second we had closed the bedroom door.  The band who were still playing on the lower floor muffled out my surprised squeak when he pressed me up against the door frame, just like the first night back in Atlanta last year.  And just like then, his hands were quickly undoing my clothing, stripping me to my underwear as my hands tangled in his hair.  He hesitated after a long kiss, his eyes on my chest for a moment before snapping the clasp on my bra and letting it fall.  I could tell he was thinking, probably about what I mentioned, and it's kind of sexy when he's vulnerable like that.

But he didn't falter.  He went for my neck next as I worked his own articles of clothing to the floor, letting his lips nip and kiss against my neck while his hands worked my chest and my hip.  His ragged breath in my ear made me forget my nerves...well, that and probably the couple shots I had thanks to Gwyn and Devin.  In fact, the second he started talking with me is when I got into it, myself.

"Shopping, huh?" he growled into my ear as I struggled to nod before tugging off his boxers. 

"Happy birthday," I breathed back, which is when he finally lifted me from the wall to tug my own underwear off.

"You really want to-"

"You're gonna fuck me, and then I'm gonna fuck you," I answered curtly.  "Deal?

"Deal."

He'd backed us up after that, letting me fall over him onto the king mattress, where I'd already set up the fancy new cuffs I got to keep his hands in place above his head.  He wasn't surprised by that, used to it I guess after last time I had him held up like that, but once I leaned down to kiss his lip and search out his tongue, I could hear him jerk his arms up, desperate to touch me.

His eyes burned fire into me when I backed off, and by the time I leaned back to line him up with me and press him into me, he was well past ready.

"Jesus Christ," he cursed, and leaned his head back with closed eyes as his hands flexed against the bed frame.  "I thought you weren't riding me?!"