Deliverance

Part 20

"... And some days I'm a crazy woman. For still waiting, for still loving harder even if I'm aching. For still trusting that I'm still worth the most. For still searching for someone to understand me better...."

His soft snores filled the room as her fingers trailed the small piece of paper. Jennie peaked at Kai who lay passed out on their bed. Slowly moving her feet under the covers, she reached for her phone.

He felt her movements and as she lightly closed their bedroom door behind her, he opened his eyes. He continued to stare at the door for quite some time before, he kicked the covers off.

The brunette appeared too occupied on the phone to notice the shadow just behind the wall. Jennie sank in to their living room couch as her lips played with a smile. Throughout the whole evening, hers was really the only voice she wanted to hear.

"The party couldn't have been that bad Jen," said Rosé.

"No, it wasn't but he gets too rowdy when he's drank too much," she replied.

Rosé paused as she thought of what to say, she heard Jennie's steady breaths wait in anticipation.

"He's really stressed right now. I mean from what you told me he and Mino were really close before all this," she offered.

"Yeah, they all were but Nia's death changed things," she sighed deeply.

"Let's not talk about that, I called for another reason," her fingers twirled the piece of paper.

"Alright, I'm all ears,"

"What are you doing at the moment?" asked Jennie, she heard a chuckle.

"Giving all my attention to you," said Rosé

"Chae ah!" Kai listened to his wife whine and then kick her legs in frustration.

"Answer me seriously" she pouted.

"I was finishing my science homework before this," she said.

"Okay, well guess what I'm doing right now?"

Rosé contained the need to tease Jennie further, it would be best to just play along.

"Pouting," Jennie straightened her lips.

"No, I'm trying to figure out the quote you gave me today. It's...it's got an undertone to it," she said hesitantly.

"Undertone?"

"Yeah, like your still looking...for the one," Jennie bit her lip as her pulse raced.

Rosé was so patient with her. Allowing her to take her time in choosing what to do about their relationship. But there were moments, where the young woman's own frustrations would slip through and Jennie hated knowing she was hurting her.

"I've found them but I was born too late..." she hid how her own words pained her.

"Chae, I" Rosé swallowed thickly as she stared up at her bedroom roof. Maybe if Jennie had never said these exact words, maybe things would've been...

"I love you Chae, you deserve better," Jennie needed her to understand how much she means to her.

"I know,"

Rosé wanted to tell her of the way she would think every night about what they were doing. How she wondered if just letting go of this affair was what was best for both of them. How they each needed to breathe again. But they were too devoted to the way their lips just fell in place together. Too enamoured with how their thoughts escaped from each other. Too...too. She wanted to reveal everything to the older woman. But she's never really known how to phrase her feelings and she despised how weak it made her.

So she just, sighed and repeated the one thing she was certain of.

"I love you too Jennie, so very much."