My dear king, save me. (Aslan fanfic) (EDITING!)

The wolves, the fox... and queen?

They told me I did not matter. 

I was just a waste of space and a burden to this world. 

can you imagine? can you relate?

I hope not. 

The feeling, when those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, treats you like a demon, an outsider, a disease. It's destructive.

It leaves a scar. it does something to a human. how it affects you is different from each individual person. But we often share one specific trait. 

The unawareness of what love is. It is not something of choice or lack of emotional intelligence, but from the lack of experience. We often have problems knowing what we feel. often when we get to a point when we care or feel considerate of another person or being, its never anything more. I can be intrigued by a person, curious, considerate or care deeply for him or her. But can I love? because of the lack of experience, I carry no knowledge of what it is. Therefore it makes us too doubtful and self-conscious to give and feel love. 

For what does it feel like?  How can I know? 

Questions like these often come to mind. It is things like that I would often ask Professor Kirk. The answers I would receive were usually just another question. 'A question for a question' the professor used to tell me. It would just leave me more confused than before. But, from what I received, I understood that this was not something the professor could give me a specific conclusion to, this was something I had to find out for myself. 

Still, even if I hadn't loved anyone in my life, in any of my lives. I still had people I cared for. And somehow, the four Pevensies had made their way into my heart. In this short time I had known them, they are more important to me than I thought was possible. That resulting me to feel responsible for them. I care for them, I feel the need to protect them, and now when Edmund is captured from what I assume, the pressure is only higher.

I know that Peter and Susan are more mature for their age, and of course Lucy too,  but still, they are children, More importantly, children in danger. I may not be the bravest or wisest. But I will do whatever it takes from me to protect them and to save Edmund, their brother. 

Still, when you hear the cry of a wolfs howl, you can't do anything but to feel scared. Did you know that a wolf howls differently depending on the situation? it could mean 'help', it could be a call out to a mate or another pack member. Or the howl meaning 'its time to hunt'. The last call is very unsettling in itself, but when you know, that you are the prey, it's even more so. You feel it in your blood, the fear and adrenaline rooting itself to your bones. It can either make you freeze on the spot or make you run faster than you thought was possible, fortunately for me, the three siblings and Mr.Beaver it was the last result. I haven't been in this form or shape longer than a day, still, it's like a natural instinct that kicks in, helping me to keep my balance and speed. I almost feel gracious. although I do make sure I'm behind my companions, so I know that everyone is holding up and doesn't fall behind.

We reach the beavers house in record time. 

  Mr.Beaver: "Hurry, Mother! They're after us!"

 Mrs. Beaver: "Oh, right then..."

Peter: " What is she doing?"

I come in behind Peter, catching my breath as I watch Mrs.Beaver hurriedly pack some food 

Mrs. Beaver: "Don't worry, you'll thank you me later. It's a long journey and Beaver gets pretty cranky when he's hungry."

Beaver: "I'm cranky now!"