Only You ✔️

12- Face Your Fears

Now that I had finally come to terms with my feelings. I felt it was only right to tell Spencer. He deserved to know, and if he decided that he still wanted me then I would give one hundred and ten percent into our relationship.

"Mommy I can't sleep" Hallie says coming out of her room rubbing her eyes.

"What's wrong honey?"

"There's a monster under my bed, and he's making lots of squeaky noise."

I stand up and head to Hallies room. Ducking to my knees I look under her bed.

"Honey I don't see anything."

Hallie sniffs and continues to rub her eyes.

"Why don't you come sleep with me tonight."

She slowly nods her head and wraps her arms around me, laying her head on my shoulder.

I stand up and walk back into the living room before sitting on the couch with Hallie on my lap. Tucking us in with the fluffy blanket I turn off the tv and cradle Hallie in my arms.

"Mommy can you sing to me?"

"Of course honey"

Hallie buries her head into my lap as I start to sing to her a lullaby from one of my favorite movies.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise."

I look down at her to find her eyes shut and she's sleeping soundly. Moments like this with her are the reasons I push through. The reasons that I remain strong.

Those aren't for me, but for my daughter. I don't want her to grow up like I did, I don't want her to feel alone, or worthless like I did.

I want her to be loved and be free.

Eventually my eyes shut and I drift off to sleep.

**

I wake up the next morning in my bed, and Hallie is nowhere to be seen.

Panic sets in as I hastily look around the bedroom for her.

"Hallie!"

I call out to her but she doesn't answer.

I throw the covers off of me and run downstairs. I begin hyperventilating and lose my focus causing me to fall down the last few steps banging my knee into the ground and my shoulder in the corner of the wall.

I cry out in pain and hold onto my knee as I struggle to get up off the ground. A pair of arms grabs me and pulls me up. The person is saying something but I can't focus on it. I'm to worried about Hallie.

"Babe, hey calm down" Spencer's voice rings out.

"Nova, baby relax, breath. what's wrong?"

I grip his forearm and squeeze. My nails dig into his skin as my mind races with all the things that could happen.

"H-Hallie. Where's Hallie" I manage in a whisper

"She's in the kitchen with Lacey and Griffin"

Relief sets in as a huge breath release from my body. My limbs go limp and I fall to the ground. Tears pour out of my eyes as I begin sobbing uncontrollably.

Spencer gets down to my level and wraps his arms around me, holding me close. I cry into his shoulder as he rubs my back.

"It's alright. Calm down." He coos in my ear.

The grip I have on his arm loosens slightly as he manages to calm me down.

My vision becomes blurry with unshed tears.

"I-I'm s-so sorry Spencer."

"Don't worry Nova. Are you ok?"

I slowly nod my head.

"Can you stand?"

I nod again.

He slowly stands up bringing with him. We make our way over to the couch and sit down. Spencer puts an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. And he wipes my tears with his free hand.

"Let me go get you some water" he says making a move to get up.

"No Spence." I say with a death grip on his hand.

"Please don't leave me alone. I need you" I plead

Spencer leans back into the couch and lets out a deep breath.

"What happened Nova?"

"I woke up and Hallie was gone. She never leaves in the morning. I panicked, I thought something bad had happened to her."

"I'm sorry, you were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want her to wake you up, so I brought her downstairs. We hung out all morning and then Lacey and Jonas came by for a late lunch."

"Lunch? What time is it?"

"Almost three"

I slept all day? What was that all about?

"Wes stopped by looking for you" he says with a angry tone.

"He did?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Spencer slowly nods his head as his jaw clenches.

"He said that you guys were trying to fix your relationship and that he had been trying to call you but your phone was off. He wanted to ask me to ask you to go to dinner with him tonight"

The nerve of him! How dare he!

"No we aren't! I didn't answer because I blocked his number! I don't want to talk to him! Spencer you have to believe me"

He studies me for a short moment before answering.

"I do"

"Why can't he just leave me alone?" I ask hanging my head.

Spencer lets out a small chuckle.

"It's because he didn't know what he had until it was gone. He stupidly let you go and he's realizing just how much of a mistake he made. He regrets it. Hell any guy would regret losing you because you are just amazing."

I can't help but smile at his words. And I know he means them, I can tell by the glint in his blue eyes.

Wes let me go and now he wants be back because I was finally happy with someone that wasn't him.

"I'm going to repeat my words. He's a idiot Novs." Spencer says causing me to laugh.

He leans in and places a sweet kiss on my forehead before pulling away.

I lift my hand to gently trace his jaw and lips. His breath hitches when my fingers reach his mouth.

He slowly moves his hand up to encase mine and kisses each of my fingertips so gently I want to melt into a puddle.

"Nova?" He says my name in a deep whisper, that causes my insides to twist and a scorching heat to form in my stomach.

"Yeah?"

"I have something important to tell you"

"What is it?"

He opens his mouth to speak but closes it, moving his eyes away from mine.

I place my hand on the side of his cheek and turn his head so he can face me. He looked pained and I hated that.

"What is it Spencer?"

He looks into my eyes and I can see the storm of emotions he's hiding behind.

"Never mind" he mumbles, as he stands abruptly and rushes away into the bedroom.

The door slamming knocks me out of my shocked state.

What the hell was that all about?