Life Is Ecstacy - Yoongi FF

Falling Apart

The tears only continue to flow from my eyes as I see how broken he looks. His bloodshot eyes are filled with pain and betrayal, though I don't don't know if they're red from crying or intoxication.

He taps the table and nods his head to the place in front of him on the other side of the counter top.
I mope my way over, not bother to wipe my tears but I do try to calm myself down, not wanting him to see me cry.

I open my mouth to speak but Yoongi cuts me off, his voice hollow and sad but his face is getting angry, his mouth curling into a snarl.
"He touched you, didn't he? Or did you touch him?"

I shake my head, feeling the world shatter around me but not being able to find any words to fix it.
He keeps going, his voice harsh and mocking.
"Was it romantic? Is he a better kisser than me? Does he make you feel good?"

"Yoongi, please it's not like that..." I try to convince him but it's hard to believe the truth when theres too much evidence against the girl who is too quiet and crying her eyes out.

Yoongi starts to move around the bench, dragging his glass bottle against the polished marble, creating a scraping noise.
His tone is bordering on insanity as he walks closer.
"Do you want him? Or are you going to lie to me again!"

His out burst rattles the apartment but I don't care about the neighbours. I begin to worry about my physical health and his mental well being as he gets close enough to hold my face and swing the hand holding the rum around my waist. He begins leaning in until our noses are close to touching and I can smell the drink on his  breath, causing me too feel a strong nausea course through me.
He smells just like uncle Jon...

I flinch as he comes closer, begging him ever so quietly to stop, but when I open my eyes he is sad, caressing my face ever so gently as tears brim along his bottom lash line.
"Why do you make me love you? Your hair, your smile, your laugh, your lips... The way you care for me, your kindness and the image of you raising our children, wearing a diamond ring I got you. These images haunt me... Why must you be so far out of reach..?"

He starts to back away, putting the glass bottle down on the counter as with eyes start to flutter shut, a few tears breaking free along the way as he goes back to sounding defeated.
"Why won't you say yes if I ask you to be mine..."

He starts to fall but I quickly grab him, pulling him into me as I hug him tightly, pouring as much love and words that he won't remember into this one gesture.
I feel all of his weight on me and his breathing becomes heavier, indicating that he's already fallen asleep.

I continue to hug him, even though.
"I do love you, Yoongi. Not Jungkook, or anyone else... just you... But you deserve better... Someone who isn't broken, someone who won't cause you to drink or feel pain."

I sigh an breath him in, my eyes too blurred by tears to see him properly and I sigh.
I guess I should put you to bed...

I manage to turn myself around so that his chest is resting on my back and his arms are over my shoulders as I drag him down the hall to his bedroom.

I lay him down as carefully as I can on the bed, pulling the covers over him as he sleeps, his face covered in tears that are still drying.

Always being one to hate the feeling of waking up to dried tears on my skin, I get a warm towelette from his bathroom and clean his face as gently as I can with it, trying my hardest not to disturb him.
When I'm done, I look down at his face. When Yoongi is sleeping, he looks like a child who has no worries, even though he furrows his eyes a little bit.

I feel so much love come to my heart as I look at him, all the pain being driven away except for the part of me that hates myself for ever hurting him.

I lean down and kiss his lips softly, my hand on his still slightly wet cheek.
As I begin to pull away, I feel Yoongi kiss me back, lifting his head up for more, unconsciously.
I smile slightly and peck him on the cheek. He growls, opening his right eye a little bit to look at me.

He voice is whiny and cute but the words cut deep.
"I bet Jungkook got more than that..."

I feel my heart breaking and I try to tell myself that he's just drunk and tired.
But I still kiss him again, longer this time, adding more passion to my mouth on his as he pulls my face closer to him.

When I do pull away, he hums almost content, closer to cocky.
"I bet Jungkook isn't half the kisser I am~"

I know that he's drunk and I shouldn't take head but I sigh in frustration.
"Yoongi. The most he did was peck me on the cheek. I turned away from him."

Yoongi suddenly sits up, one eyebrow raised and a gleam of victory in his eyes.
"Really?"
I nod, glad that he's listening but then I see him frown.
"Do you love me?"

I look up at him and move closer, placing a sweet kiss on his lips. Then I pull away, I don't go far, just enough to talk in a hushed whisper.
"Desperatly..."

"Then be mine, Y/n... Let me show you what love is like, let me teach you how to love yourself. Let me show you that life is ecstasy..."
His voice sounds almost sober, but I just rest my forehead on his, sad.

"You're drunk, Yoongi... You don't mean any of this... You won't remember any of this either. You'll just go back to thinking that I love Jungkook and that it was a date."

He pulls back, shaking his head, mad at the accusation.
"No, I always remember in the morning. No matter what. And just to be sure..."

He gets his phone out of his pocket and start clicking around and typing.
I look at him confused at what he's doing as he sticks a toung out in frustration.
When I ask him what he's up to he doesn't even look up until the last words.
"I'm writing myself a message to remind myself that you love me and me alone that that I need to ask you out in the most romantic way possible after I've shaken off my hang over."

I look at him, shocked.
"But, I- I don't deserve you-"
Yoongi instantly rolls his eyes, cutting me off and dismissing me.
"Haven't you realised by now? Love isn't about what you deserve. It's about holding on to the person who makes you the happiest, no matter what. Now, do I make you happy?"

I stare at him, wide eyes at his little lecture, I nod slowly but he seems dissatisfied with my response shaking his head and bringing his big hand up to my jaw to pull me closer.
When he speaks, his voice is almost seductive...
"Use your words, Y/n... Do I make you happy?"

"Yes... You make me so happy."
He smiles and give me kisses inbetween his words.
"Then. What's. The. Problem? We. Love. Each other. That's all that matters!"

I smile at him, completely forgeting our fight and taking in all of his adorable features. His gummy smile, his shinning eyes, his cute dark hair and his chubby little cheeks.
I love this man...
I think as he kisses me, pulling me down to lay next to him, rolling us over so that I'm laying on the other side closest to the wall and I can't get out. He continues placing random kisses around my face as I giggle ecsesivly.
I want to be with him... For many years to come..

And we fall asleep like that, in each others arms...

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