Undeniable

Now what?

         I woke up in the ER feeling better "about time you up" million said smiling he's definitely gotta be feeling better because he was just fighting for his life  in the drivers seat like am I trippin or is he alive and well. "Well...h-how ,where" I couldn't make it into one question " I know what your thinking but idk how to answer anything, thank god we made it through" he grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Hello I'm dr. Sanders I'm really happy to see you guys are Alright, well your vitals are fine and the baby is doing well so you guys are free to go I'm gonna run 1 more test and sign you out" he smiled and walked away. "Baby?" I questioned out loud I never even knew I was expecting this is all happening so fast "you never told me you was pregnant" million rose an eyebrow in suspense he slowly took his hand off of my shoulder and folded his arms you know the way hood niggas do "million this isn't a blaming kindve situation if I knew I was pregnant you would be the first to know" I snapped at him my chest heaved in and out I didn't know what washed over me but my heart ached. " I'm sorry I'm just I don't know man, stressed?" The way he spoked hinted that he didn't even know what he wanted to say we were both unsure but that didn't mean he had the right to question my loyalty to him. "I'm pregnant now what" I rubbed my head and sunk my face into my hands "now we raise our baby adara I'm not going anywhere we can do this". My head was spinning but it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone and his first instinct was to make sure I knew he wasn't going anywhere. "Let's go" million said while grabbing my purse and his car keys, when we arrived home I decided to cook dinner. I know this shit wasn't easy to take in I know he needed a stress reliever. "You sure you wanna keep this baby I mean, with all this drama in our lives ?" I asked while setting the plates onto the table million lift his head slightly upward and squinted his eyes at me "how the fuck can you even come up with the courage to ask me that?" He raised his voice at me while snatching his keys off the table and storming out. "I didn't mean anything by it I'm just trying to.." the slamming of the door cut me off. I turned the food off and walked to the room I haven't even noticed the pudge In my stomach I thought I was just putting on pounds it's strange that I don't feel anything my emotions are on hold. I wanted to feel something other than regret but I didn't. I didn't know if I wanted this baby. (Ding) my doorbell had the strangest ring to it. I peeked through the door and it was kyleeyah I haven't heard from her in a month of Sunday's according to her I'm so involved with her brother u forgot she exists. "Heyyy" I said awkwardly stretching out the word. "Umm hey I haven't seen you in so long and million gave me y'all address, well what are you about to do?" She asked perfectly normal "I'm about to go to the clinic you want to come ?" I asked because I knew it would mean the most to her to spend quality time . " sure" she said we got in the car and I immediately started to get flash backs "you don't have to drive if you don't want to I know how it can be after such a traumatizing thing" she grabbed my hand and made me feel safe I let her drive when we got to the clinic the doctor asked me to come in the room alone first which I didn't mind since ky didn't know I was pregnant. " how are you doing today?" The doctor asked excitedly "oh hi it's you how are you feeling you were just here is everything ok?" Dr sanders said concerningly . "Yes I'm fine I just didn't know I was pregnant when you told me it was actually news to us" I spoke skipping over some words out of embarrassment. "Your 4 months pregnant and you didn't know?" Dr. Sanders grew confused. " I know it sounds crazy but I've been on and off of birth control and my life is moving so fast I just didn't know" I started to panic "it's ok honey I'm going to help you figure it all out ok?" He rubbed my back to console me. " ok so youll need to take this medication once every 4 hours it will help with your babies growth process they are vitamins, see you are carrying very small it's nice for your figure but not always good for your body the most common cause is problems in the placenta from drinking or smoking or anything else of that sort" he explained while writing on his note pad. I began to think about all of the things I've been doing that could have hurt my baby but it's still in there surviving it's a survivor just like me there's no way I could get rid of it. Then I felt it I felt something for the baby in my heart an instant connection that was unbreakable. I walked out and met up with ky "girl why it take that long to get birth control?" She snapped at me "it didn't I'm pregnant" I said while continuing to walk to the car she got silent and shock washed over her face