Here it is! ❤️
Dear future heart-breaker,
I don't know who you are. As I sit here in a coffee shop, wondering if I've met you already or yet to come face to face with later on, I just want to warn you what you're about to get into. Honestly, if I were in your position, I'd stay away. I'm not saying this to get sympathy. I'm just telling you that being with me is going to be a crazy ride.
If we already know each other, then you probably know that I'm a bitch. If not, then I'm telling you now that I am. I usually scare people off, with my friends justifying that I look unfriendly with my shades on and coffee in hand. My eyes are too fast to glare at anything I don't like, and my mouth, at times, not able to hold back thoughts that weren't filtered very well. But when you do catch my attention, I will gaze at you through my sunglasses as I sip my caffeine slowly, trying to decipher what is it about you to make me look twice in the first place. The corners of my lips will curl up a bit, and I'll probably say hi in an awkward tone, trying to not sound awkward at all.
I will openly talk to you on any given opportunity, because it is my way of saying that you do not scare me. I won't show you that I'm shy, and that I'm watching everything that I do around you. I will treat you the way you would see me treat other people, because in truth, I'm scared you'd figure out that I'm interested in you. I will be nice to you, and I will make you laugh-in hopes that eventually you'd fall in like with me too, enough that you'd make the first move.
I want to be friends first, because I genuinely believe that friendship is the best foundation of all. Yes, maybe I'd like to jump to the cheesy-butterflies in the stomach-oh my god-moments. But for me, I like to take risks. And the biggest risk would be putting friendship on the line. I will be there for you for the small chit chats, the long pointless talks and arguments, the heartfelt one-on-one's. I would like to get to know you for who you are, no pretentiousness. I will accept your dark past, for I'd like you to welcome mine as well with no judgement. For now, I'm informing you that I do have a lot of baggage, but never will I ever ask you to carry them, nor to fix any of my drawbacks. If only, please be patient and stand by me, as I bend over backwards to be the best I can be for you. Because if you truly are the next guy to break my heart, then you deserve nothing but me at my prime.
I will be your best friend, if you'd let me. I will play video games with you until we end up fighting over who's beating who. I will drink beer, and eat pizza with you, as we watch action films. I will take care of you, and even clean up your puke when you've had too much to drink. I will force-feed you when you think you're getting too fat and would refuse to eat anything. I will hang out with you, and just sit there, not doing anything, but just enjoying the silence. I will listen to you rant about your life not going the way as you planned it to. I will wrestle with you, and I will actually hurt you because I know how. I will listen to your kind of music, and bicker with you when I don't like it. I will stay with you and watch you and encourage you to do more, or take a break, when work's already too much. I will write you random notes, and draw you little cartoons, just to make you smile when you find them randomly inserted in your notebooks. I will tell you jokes that will make me laugh and not you because I'm the worst at delivering them. I will drive for hours just to see you even for just 10 minutes, and make sure you're okay when the universe is challenging you. Then I will pull you up, with a little smile, and my sincere assurance that you are not alone. I will never make you feel deserted, because as I would squeeze your hand, I'd be hoping at the back of my mind, that you'd get the idea that I care about you, and that I am willing to go out of my way to make you happy.
So by the time that fate would be on my side that you would actually like me more than just a friend, I'd like you to court me in the old-fashioned way. Please ask me out on a real date, not to just "chill out". I don't want anything grand, to be honest. A simple dinner would be nice. We can talk like we usually do, but flirt bit by bit as well. Just one favor to ask, please pay for the first date. But then for the next ones, let's go dutch or just let me pay. Because I hate it when guys pay for me, sorry. Let's try different restaurants, and places! Once in a while let's have fancy dinners, but I am more than fine with street food as well. Let's go to downtown and just walk around. I am telling you right now that you don't have to spend to make me happy. Bring me by the bay and let's just hold hands and have adventures with no pocket money. Let's discover holes-in-the-wall in this suffocating city where we can breathe, and just be together. Then maybe when you bring me home, I'd let you steal a kiss that I'd be smiling for days about.
