After Fate Fell

53 • JOHN

1 year, 3 months, and 19 days after it all
•JOHN•

The sun starts to rise over the horizon as I drive along the coastline back in the direction we came. The sky is painted with pinks and oranges and yellows as the sun peeks through the sandy hills inland. The drive is silent, other than the low hum of the engine and the tiny sounds of each little grain of sand hitting against the sides of the car, blown by the desert wind.

Sarah. She's the only thing on my mind, the only thing worth thinking about, really. I can't believe I ever let myself think otherwise. She's in Paradise, waiting for me to return to her so she can fall into my arms. I can't wait until the moment I see her, standing outside her door on the porch as I pull into her driveway, she runs toward me and I open my door and we embrace, thinking about nothing but each other, nothing but her, nothing.

I don't understand why I didn't go to see her last time I was in Paradise, how long ago was that? I think just a few days ago. It doesn't make sense that I didn't see her, haven't seen her, in a while. I should have gone to her house and held her in my arms, I should have told her to come with us to find the entity...or maybe I should have just stayed there, in Paradise, with her, instead of going at all? Because what was the point? The entity has no powers when you aren't near it. If I just stayed in Paradise, with her, then it would have no chance of taking power over me. And at what cost were we doing all this? Ella was in a coma, Six was suicidal, people could have died. So I know that by leaving that all behind, I've at least saved myself.

I just have to get home, I have to get to Paradise, I should have never fucking left that place.

The uniformity of the desert drags on, and now more than ever, I need to get out of it. I push my foot down on the pedal so it almost touches the floor. I speed along, hoping time will go faster, hoping I can just get out of the sand, which almost seems to swallow me whole.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, I think over and over and over and over and over and over again. Usually, when you do this with a word or a name, thinking it over and over again, it starts to sound like it isn't even a real word, a real name, a real thing, a real person. But the meaning of her name never changes in my mind. I know that this is the girl I love, the girl I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life.

//

The sun beats down on the car, shining through the windshield and the windows, as I reach the dead city of Walvis Bay. I know this is where I turn east, I need to turn inland once I reach the city. I drive into the city, the empty buildings temporarily blocking out the heat of the sun. I slow down, stopping as I enter the shadow of one of the larger buildings, giving me refuge from the heat. The air conditioning in this car has been blasting this whole time, yet when I put my hand up to the vent, warm air blows out. I curse. It must be broken.

I can't keep driving out in the open, the sun beating down on me, at least not now, while the sun is high, and at least not now, while the air conditioning isn't working. I've got to either wait until evening, or try to fix the damn thing. And I'm not about to wait. I open the car door, stepping out into the silent city, which this time, is even quieter, without the others.

To be honest, I don't really understand cars very well. Whenever something happened to a car in the past, Henri would fix it, or somebody else at least. Never me. But I guess I watched sometimes, watched him mess around with a couple things under the hood, and so maybe I can guess and get it right. I pop the hood and look under it, trying not to expose myself--although there's nobody in this goddamn city--as a useless mechanic. As I look at all the little pieces, the tanks holding their liquids, the pipes and tubes connecting things, and the metal pieces holding it all together, I know it's useless.

I slam the hood in anger, telling myself how stupid I am for never paying attention to Henri when he fixed cars before, always thinking stuff like that wasn't important. Now, after the war, knowing how to blend in, knowing how to kill a Mog, knowing how to control my legacies, all of that is useless out here in the middle of the desert, in an empty city where there's no one to blend in with, no Mogs to slash, and no use for legacies of any sort, not that I'd be able to control them anyways. I haven't been able to use my legacies much lately. I don't know what's wrong. But in this time, none of those things are helpful, and all of a sudden, fixing the air conditioning in a car is the most important thing in the world, it's like my life depends on it, because every single second that I'm not with Sarah is starting to eat away at me from the inside out.

And then I remember. Wasn't there a Lorialite stone in Walvis Bay? Maybe it's the heat getting to me, or maybe I'm really remembering this right. I've got to find that stone. I know that they are never in the middle of a populated area, so it can't be in the city, but probably in the surrounding area. And then I remember the one off the coast in Mogadishu, and I know it has to be in the water. I sprint down to the water, running my fastest hundred-meter or whatever distance by far.

The water seems to pull closer to me, though I know I'm the one going toward it. I keep my eyes up as I near, and I see that there's something floating on the surface, no, a bunch of things. A chill runs down my spine. I know what those are. They're bodies. I reach the water's edge, trying not to look at any of the endless bodies floating all around me. I step out onto a dock which reaches into the water. How did all these people die? More importantly though, where is the Lorialite stone?

I peer down into the water, and that's when I see it. The tiniest of a glow, deep in the unsettlingly calm ocean water. I don't have to think about it, I tear off my shirt and dive into the water, careful to avoid the bodies resting on the surface, and oh, the water is so cold and refreshing. I dive deep down, nearing the stone, and really all it is, is a little tiny pebble of Lorialite, surrounded by a cold, gray, dead rock. I reach down to touch it. I look up just before touching it to teleport to wherever it takes me, and I see the face of one of the bodies, looking straight into my eyes with it's own cold, dead ones. It's me.