Raw Winter

Chapter 5: Waiting Pain

For the first few weeks, he expected Winter to familiarize herself with the environment and to get comfortable knowing where everything was from the kitchen to the library. He instructed her on when and how to take her meals in a way that was unobtrusive because, as Charlet told her, "Often when the Lord is home he will think little of when you want to eat or even that you need to eat. It will often slip his mind that you need food, but don't let that keep you from picking up meals where you may."

Once she had a comfortable living routine and knew where to bathe, eat, and rest, he started training her in literature and bookkeeping. He taught her the different languages and gave her lessons every day. The years since they had bought her extended with her master still not returning until Charlet felt entirely comfortable teaching her.

It had started slowly at first, as if he felt guilty knowing it would be beaten out of her and would be used against her. He dreaded it intensely.

On her fifteenth birthday, they sat together at the dining table, a massive cake between them. There was a village nearby that he sometimes took her to, but mostly, he was her only world. There weren't any other servants in the house. She had been told when she was younger about how the Lord of the house took his servants with him or else got rid of them. Charlet was the only one that stayed in order to keep everything organized and to assure nothing would be ruined or stolen.

And to train girls like her.

He lit the candles and smiled at her as the last one was lit. "Make a wish."

She smiled back and leaned in to blow out the candles, but there was a knock at the door. The color noticeably drained from Charlet's pale face, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Go check who it is. I'll wait for you," she told him, though she wanted to see for herself. There weren't many visitors, and she was curious. The fear on his face was contagious, and she decided she wanted to stay at the table.

"You should make your wish while I'm gone. Don't feel obligated to wait for me," he answered, his voice higher than usual. His voice was almost musical when he was afraid.

"I'll wait to make it until you come back," she replied as he got up and headed for the far door. He paused and looked back at her, and she felt a chill go down her back. She could practically hear him saying this might be her last chance for a wish, and she didn't know why she felt that way. There was another knock, this time louder, so he didn't have time to say it aloud.

After he went, she stared at the candles, watching the wax drip into the frosting. She wasn't really worried, but it settled in that something was terribly wrong, and felt sicker and sicker about it. What if this really was her last opportunity?

The longer it took him to come back, the worst she felt until she found tears in her eyes. It wasn't something she did often. She remembered crying a lot when she was little and realized she wasn't seeing her mom again. Charlet struggled to explain it to her, telling her they were far away from where her mom was. He also suggested that if she wanted to be found, it was always best to stay in one place.

It was worse when he had told her she was now property. It was a subject that he hated talking about with her and he avoided it when he could, but it was a fact he couldn't bear to keep from her. He kept it subtle when she was younger, but it was still one of the first things he told her. It didn't matter as long as Sir Nevel was gone, and the longer he was gone, the more Charlet was certain their master wasn't coming back.

She sobbed harder, the cake blurry in her vision, reminding herself that he would not be coming back even as she imagined him at the door.

She remembered Charlet telling her gently, "He has all kinds of servants that travel with him. Gourmet cooks, dancing women, muscled guards and a—a scientist." The scientist was a classic madman that enjoyed experimenting with people's minds and how they reacted to certain conditions, and dissecting those he didn't. "You won't have to worry about him. He was very sick when they last left. I doubt he's survived."