Raw Winter

Chapter 11: Would you?

There was scarring, but the relationship between her and Charlet healed relatively well. He was her haven. When she wasn't being called on by Tirenen or Nevel. It was mostly Nevel. Tirenen was content to get back to his experiments, though there were moments when she could see him watching her, writing something down in a notebook he had propped open in his hand. She didn't know what he was recording, whether it was behavior or something else, but it was unnerving whenever she would catch him watching her without saying a word. Often she didn't know how long he had been there, but decided it was best not to acknowledge him. It was more unnerving when she knew he had been watching her, but was gone the next time she looked over. She was never sure if she was imagining him there.

"I've felt so strange lately. Maybe it's just stress, but I've felt so nauseous and tired. Do you think I'm sick? What do you think they'll do to me if I am?" She asked Charlet as she sat beside him. She spoke in common. It didn't sound as rough as when she was speaking in the higher tongue, but she still heard hints of the growling tone. It was at least easier to understand, and it didn't sound nearly as angry.

"I'm sure they would give you time to rest," Charlet said, but didn't sound all that certain. "They wouldn't punish or get rid of you just for being sick."

She tapped slowly on the table as she considered what he had said. She wanted to say she wanted them to get rid of her after what they put her through, but knew he was likely trying to avoid the more obvious meaning. They wouldn't kill her. Sometimes, she thought it would be better if they did, if the alternative meant living longer like this. She remembered how Tirenen had said they bought her so young for the sake of being kept for many more years.

She looked up in time to see Charlet staring at her, his face flushed. She found it curious as she watched him. He realized she was looking at him again, and his lips thinned before looking away. He said, "Why don't I get you some herbal tea? My mother used to make it for me all the time, and I find it helps fortify me when I'm worried about being sick."

Charlet squeezed her arm, and she tried not to growl. She had become so much more sensitive to being touched. He didn't seem to notice her discomfort, already rushing away. It took a moment before he returned with a boiling kettle held carefully aloft in one hand, still hissing and steaming. In the other, he held bags of herbs and teacups balanced carefully on a platter that he placed delicately on the table.

"Did you used to do this often?" She asked as she watched Charlet carefully divvy out the tea into two cups and poured on the boiling water. He was very delicate and precise, and it was almost hypnotizing to watch. She had known him to serve tea like this before, but before things like this didn't nearly stand out to her. Now it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.

"I suppose I did, a long time ago," he answered. "I was actually quite fond of the late lord of the house, Nevel's father. I didn't consider him a good man, but at the time he was the center of my world. I have to say I would condemn him if I knew what I know about him now. I suppose, I can't say I wouldn't do it again. The good days certainly made the bad ones lighter."

"Do you suppose," Winter asked as she gingerly lifted her cup before putting it back down, "if you had brought me here during when Tirenen and Nevel were home, I would have felt the same or at different about it?"

Charlet had been watching her expectantly and took a moment to respond after she had put the cup back down. "Oh, I don't know. I think you would have been a different person if you were. I think you would have been able to accept it easier, or perhaps you wouldn't have lasted this long." He frowned, appearing deep in thought over it.

She felt uneasy when she noticed he was staring at the cup of tea he gave her, her finger slowly running along the rim. She finally said, "is that what happened to you? Are you a different person than you would have been if you weren't a servant here?"