Bullying Victim // Grant Landis

I'll see U in my dreams.

 In every part of your life you're going to have a decision, It's not a normal decision it's a really hard one and sometimes it could be more than one, But what makes it really special is that you can only take it by your own no one will be there for you to tell you if it's wrong or it's right no one is going to help you figure out if it's the right decision you'll have to know by yourself.

It could effect your safety sometimes but what is safety when you're safe and the one you love is in danger safety means nothing when you're protecting the one that you love ! So what if our lives are in danger if the ones we love are safe ? Maybe it's true love ? Oh hold on I know that's true love when your lover's safety is much important than yours.

Our generation, The ones who think they know everything about love might never experienced this because our generation's only issue is "leak of true love" How did we got that way ? I guess in some families the father leaves or the mother and in some they lost their parents and in most cases is Parents are always away they don't take a good care of their child they leave everything for the babysitter, What does the child do ? If this happens they search for "True Love" so when they don't find it they assume that everything is love here's an example "That boy gave me his pencil, I'm pretty sure he loves me".

Many people say that when he gives you chocolate it means that he loves you Or When he texts you late at midnight it means that he loves you but that isn't love ? Everybody is capable of buying anyone chocolate or texting anyone late at midnight, Love is something not everybody is capable of ! Love is when you're ready to sacrifice your life to keep the one you love safe when you're ready to lose everything you got to make them happy and the fact that it doesn't matter what you lose even if you lost everything because knowing that they're safe or happy makes everything better it's like your life comparing to theirs is nothing.

Jennifer's POV :

Remorse .. Remorse .. Remorse .. 

I felt like I was being haunted by guilt, What's wrong with me ? Am I slowly losing it ? Whenever I lay down or try to do anything like a normal human being I feel like there's a huge bag of guilt on my back and I could never get rid of it I can't even escape it ! But there's one thing I know for sure I can't carry it any longer i'm just not strong enough, I'll never be the type of person who learns how to live with guilt I can't even if I tried

Whenever I lay down or try to do anything like a normal person I feel like there's a huge bag of guilt that's on my back and I can't get rid of it or even escape it and I can't do it I can't carry it anymore I'm just not strong enough to carry it, I will never be the type of person who learns how to live with guilt I can't be one of them even if I tried.

You go to your friends when you're depressed but what if you're the reason why your friends are suffering, Oh my friends I can't let you suffer any longer ! Mistakes Mistakes Mistakes it's just a simple mistake and now it could kill them or torture them ? Oh no this can't be happening !

Where did I go wrong ? Did I go wrong when I got in that cheap restaurant when those Gangsters attacked me ? Or the day that I got a rich spoiled school bully ? Or the day that we meet that girl in the bowling alley that I suggested ? All the answers lead back to me ! Everything that's happening to them is my fault and if I didn't go and try to solve it I would blame myself forever.

I have to go by myself and protect the friends that I love but what should I take with me ? What should I take I have to protect myself too ! "Think Jennifer think" I said to myself until I started thinking like an over protective dad facing the fact that his little girl is going to prom with the Popular douche bag in school, What would I do if I was him ? I'd give my daughter a Pepper spray a little hand knife and a little first aid kit that's what I took with me plus I needed a fully charged phone and some snacks