Time changed
We're different
But my mind still says redundant things
Can I not think?
FuckShit's P.O.V
I knew that we would never be the same. I had hurt her way to be for things to be the same. Times had changed, we where different now. She couldn't stand to be around me anymore, it hurt. But I knew this was payback for what I did to her. The scene became redundant, it was all I thought about now. The look on her face when she walked into the shop and saw me with another girl. The way she cried and ran out. It continued to repeat. It never stopped. I couldn't think anymore, it was slowly driving me insane.
Will you love this part of me
My lover is a day I can't forget
I kept on trying to make it up to her. Trying to get her to take me back. I asked her if she could love the part of me that made me fuck everything up all the time. She responded with a simple "I did love that part of you. But you ruined that part of you for me". I couldn't forget her, I couldn't forget that day. Usually I would move on from a girl in around a week or two. But with her it was different, I couldn't move on, she was all I wanted, all I thought about.
Furthering my distance from you
Realistically I can't leave now
But I'm okay as long as you
Keep me from going crazy x2
I remember the night the guys and I went to a party after we where done skating. She was there, looking as beautiful as ever. I tried to keep my distance from her cause I knew that if I was near her, I would do something stupid. I knew I couldn't leave the party, people would ask me why I was leaving and that would cause to much attention. But I guess it felt good to see her, seeing her kept me from going crazy. Even though every time I saw her my mind would replay the scene, it still helped me to see her.
Straight up ahead
You'll find a sign that says you can't get by with a lie
But if I stayed away by a thread from the glory pat
And made my life harder lying 'bout the stupid shit I say
Then you wouldn't know a single thing about how I feel about you
And all those really dumb things people feel
I watched her ride around on her skateboard occasionally doing tricks. I wanted to talk to her, but I knew she would just tell me to leave her alone. It was almost as if there was a still something holding us together, something like a thread. Finally I mustered enough courage to go talk to her. She rolled her eyes when she saw me and tried to ride away, but i put my foot on the front of her board. "What do you want Fuckshit" she asked, an annoyed tone her voice.
"I need to talk to you" I responded, trying to get her to look at me. "Make it quick" she muttered, picking up her board.
"I'm sorry. I know I've said it so many times and I know its not gonna make anything better, but I'm sorry. I'm tired of lying to everyone and saying that I'm over you. It's making my life so much harder. Cause I'm not over you, I don't think it ever will. Fuck I love you so much, but I fucked it up and now you fucking hate me. I want you to know about how I feel about you. I'm gonna continue to tell you, cause I fucking love you. I never showed you how much I loved you while we where together. Shit I fucking cheated on you for god fucking sake. I'm just really sorry Y/N, I wanna make it up to you please give me a second chance" I pleaded, running my hands through my hair. She sighed softly, also running her hands through her hair.
"Fuckshit I already told you, I can't trust you anymore. I want to, but I can't. I'm really sorry, but I just can't bring myself to give you a second chance" she apologized. I looked up at her, she had a sad look on her face. "Don't be sorry it's my fault. I should of never cheated on you, I'm an idiot" I mumbled, before walking back to the group. My head hung low as I sat down next to Ruben.
