Striking Blue || Connor Murphy

InkyBlue

"You look like shit" Jared points out as we walk to the first lesson of the day, maths. "Wouldn't you like to know, go away before I punch you" I mumble and carry on walking. "Wait hear me out, I only told your mum because she was worried about you and it stressed Evan out" he explains as we continue walking. "Evan isn't my problem, he's a friend and all but I have enough going on to feel guilty about giving him a panic attack" I pause thinking "plus I'm a big girl now I can look after myself and anyway it's none of your business what I get up to I thought you only hung round with me because your Evans family friend " I hiss quietly. "geez what has he done to you? You were so nice last week" Jared huffs before stomping away to the class which we share.

By the time lunch time rolls around I'm furious why you might ask? Well I don't know. Deciding that if I stay any longer I'll end up getting suspend I leave.

I'm sat at a red light when my phone rings beside me.
"Hello?"
"Why is the school ringing me telling me you aren't in class?"
"Because I don't feel well, I nearly fainted at lunch so I left"
"I swear, Uh okay I'm at work now but your dad'll be home before me to cook dinner"
"Okay see you later, bye"

I hang up before she replies, I don't go home straight away I go down to the river and sit, it's November so the water is way to cold to go swimming but I enjoy just sitting as we don't live close to the sea the river is like a shitty substitute. I sit for a while just listening to the water before my butt gets too numb I get up and leave. the drive home is slow while there isn't much traffic time just seems to drag, it's calming.

I unlock the front door and step in dropping my bag down on the stairs before wandering to the kitchen to make some tea. Once I have my tea I go back upstairs and start my homework, it's not long before my dad is home not that he notices me home anyway. I'm writing a summary for some text about Bhutan when my mum comes in. The house is silent for a while before I start to hear her and dad talking downstairs, I can't make out what they're saying but it sounds heated. Ignoring them I put my headphones on and continue working. After an hour or so I'm called down to dinner which is quite quiet.

Afterwards, I disappeared back to my room, sitting down I open Spotify and put some Music on and doodle in one of my notebooks. Once done I wander back downstairs to the kitchen it's just after ten so my parents are in their room watching the tv. I grab a bottle of water and some snacks before going to the bathroom and climbing through the window onto the garage roof, I put my stuff down and go to reach for my phone only to find it gone "uhh" I groan climbing back through the window and going to my room. Grabbing my phone and a blanket I make my way back outside again, once settled I put my music back on quietly. I sit for a while staring at the inky blue sky "I should probably text Jared" I mumble to myself opening my DMs and finding Jared

Y: hey

It takes him a while to reply but eventually he does

J: hey
Y: sorry about this morning
J: okay
Y: are you upset
J: a little, I don't like Connor
Y: ya'know I'll always be on your side but I want to get to know him
J: I'm not going to stop you
J: I just worry that he'll hurt you
Y: Oof you actually care?
J: no
Y: bastard
Y: yes you do
Y: JARED CARES ABOUT ME
J: whatever helps you sleep at night
Y: it doesn't
J: that hurt
Y: good, how are you and Evan?
J: I haven't seen him yet
Y: when will you tell him?

Before Jared answers, I get a message from an unknown number "for fuck sake Connor what do you want now?" Grumbling to myself I open his message

C: are you free?
Y: I don't think so I have to go to bed. sorry mum has been a real bitch recently
C: okay, see you on Monday

I go to reply to Jared when my mum is calling for me "welp looks like I actually have to go to bed, I'm seventeen and she's still controlling everything I do" grumbling to myself I slip back through the window to find my mum in the hall "what have I told you about sitting on the garage roof? It'll fall through if you aren't careful" I just pass without listening "what's wrong now?" She follows me to my room. "I don't have to start worrying so I?" Her face softens as she speaks "no why would you?" I reply busying myself with tidying my desk "right, good night Y/n" she says leaving and closing the door behind her.

"I don't have to worry do I?" I mimic through tears "who the fuck does she think she is? Turning around like it's my fault" snivelling I open my laptop and start to write, when I finish it's just past eleven, I can hear my parent snoring next door. Bored I text Connor.

Y: Hey, you up?
Y: I realise it's barely 11
C: what do you want?
Y: some company my mums being an ass
C: so? What can I do about it?

"Deep breathes Y/n don't fuck this up" I sigh

Y: I dunno, wanna go get ice cream?
C: right now?
Y: yeah why not?
C: I thought you had to go to bed
Y: that's what my mum wants who says I have to listen
C: thought you cared about getting in trouble?
Y: yeah but honestly I just need to get out
C: it's a Thursday night
Y: Connor, please
C: okay um text me your address I'll pick you up?
Y: sure it's .....
(I can't be bothered to make one up)
C: okay see you in a minute

I don't reply instead I quietly get out of bed and open my closet, I don't change I just grab a hoodie. I bunch cushions and some of my clothes under my duvet to look like I'm still there just in case she does come and check which is unlikely but I can't be sure. Once I'm done I grab my phone, wallet and keys I slowly creep downstairs and grab my shoes not bothering to put them on I go out the back door and round the front of the house. I walk down the street until I'm out of immediate sight from my house before plopping down on the curb to put my shoes on,
it doesn't take Connor long to turn up.

Hopping into his truck I put my seatbelt on "are you going to explain why I'm doing this for you?" He questions once we're away from my road "Uh yeah, my mum was being an asshole but like not really if that makes sense, I dunno I just needed to get out of that house" I explain deliberately missing out the parts about me crying "sure, are you going to tell me what actually happened though?" He glances at me with a knowing frown "uh, I don't want to" I moan  "I don't care. If this is to become a regular thing then I want to know why" he replies ignoring my previous statement "fuck, I highly doubt you wanna hear about my suicide attempt let's be real" I say through gritted teeth, sitting there I clench and unclench my jaw, then my fist I continue this until Connor replies "what?" he sounds shocked it quickly continues. "You tried to commit suicide?"his knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel. I take a moment to regain composure, "Yeah Why is that such a surprise" my response is quiet. "Why the fuck would you do that?" His voice controlled. "I don't want to talk about it, it's none of you business and anyway I don't see why your so shocked after the assembly we had on suicide prevention after you tried like on the first week of school" I loose my temper for a second, I clamp my hand over my mouth in shock realising what I'd just said. "Oh my god, I'm so, so sorry I didn't mean that." I rush out before he can reply. "Fucking hell, I didn't think you had it in you to be rude" he mumbles before turning into the parking lot for the À La Mode.

Connor goes and get the ice cream as short aren't the best thing to be wondering about in on a late November night.

A/n I've got like three other chapters written Oof