A/n I think this'll be the last chapter? Then I'll rewrite the beginning I guess
We wander around the forest for sometime just enjoying each other's company in silence. We're walking back towards the car park when a thought strikes me, "okay question, do you actually think jumping out of a tree could kill you? Like if I was to throw myself out a tree I'd just fucking die?" I blurt out. "Sorry, I don't mean it to sound like I'm about to pull that shit, sometimes I just say shit and don't think, actually I do that a lot" I continue rambling as we walk. "Yeah probably, you'd have to fall pretty far though" he sounds amused at my rambling.
We don't speak until we're back on the road.
"Shit, my mum is gonna be so fucking pissed I skipped again" I barely finish my sentence before my phone starts to ring. Grumbling I pull it out of my bag.
"Where have you been Y/n?
The school said you just left with
That Connor, what did I tell you about staying away from him?" Her voice is panicked over the phone, Connor definitely heard her. "Wouldn't you like to fucking know? You didn't last night or the countless others so you don't get a say. I'm seventeen now" I try and keep my voice level conscious that Connor is next to me.
"What do you mean? I do what to know, I want you home right now" she falters before continuing. "What have you done? I want you to come home and if I see you with Connor again there'll be hell to pay" she quickly regains herself. "Hah no, fuck that it's only three, I'll come back when I want" my hands start to shake realising what I'm doing. "Right, come home when you want" I can tell she angry and no matter if I went home now or later it wouldn't change the fact that I'd still get in trouble. Before I can reply she's hung up, I sit and stare at my hands trying to get them to stop shaking. "Why is your mum shut a bitch?" Connors voice interrupts my thoughts. "Uh, she's not a bitch. I mean she is but she's not that bad I promise" I sputter not knowing how to answer. "Do you want me to take you home?" He ask stopping for the light. "Uh no, can we not do that? I'm in trouble enough so I might as well make the most of it right?" I chew my lip as I speak. "Okay? What do you wanna do?" He asks. "I have homework to do, an english paper so uh could we go to the library or something?" I can feel my chest tightening as I try and keep myself calm. "No let's just go back to mine, the library is a bit shit to study at"
"Hey you're home early?" Cynthia calls from the kitchen as Connor closes the front door. He doesn't answer just pulls me upstairs. "Connor?" Cynthia calls after us, he stops on the staircase and turns around. "What?" His mood changes. He still has my hand as he stares at his mother. "I asked you a question" she leans on the banister tapping her foot obviously waiting for an answer, "yeah and? We left the science teacher was being an asshole and made Y/n have a panic attack so I brought her home no big deal" he scowls as he replies. "See it wasn't that difficult to give me an answer" she calls turning round to leave.
Connor continues to pull me upstairs to his room. "Are you okay?" His voice soft as he turns to me. "What'd you mean? I'm fine" I laugh nervously trying to brush it off. "You look like you're about to fucking cry come on what's up?" He sits down at his desk. "Can I see what you did? Last night I mean" he reaches out and slowly grabs my hand "what? Uh I'd rather not" mumbling I step towards him. "You might need stitches" his excuse is lame but I let him gently roll my sleeve up. "You need to get better at wrapping" he's speaking to himself mostly as he unravels the bandage to reveal the bloody gauze that is now stuck to my arm. "Can I take this off?" He glances up at me, I'm so tired of myself at this point I just nod. He lifts it up some patches stick to my skin as the blood had dried but for the most part there was no fresh blood, the occasional small spot of blood leaking through the scabbing. "Fucking hell, let me go get ice that's way too swollen" he mumbles to himself as he stands letting my arm gently drop to my side again.
He's gone for less than a minute, I can hear him running down the stairs his boots stomping loudly and Cynthia telling him to walk faintly. He's stood in front of me again as I try to refocus on the room. "Don't space out on me" he tries to laugh a little to lighten the mood but it doesn't work. He gently placed the ice on my wrist. "Please don't do this to yourself, I know it's hypocritical because I'm just as fucking bad but I don't want to see you fall like I have" he's stood with a large amount of space between us. "I know your only trying to help but it's not, I need to let these heal on their own without help, I need to feel them so it makes me think again. The swelling is the worst, it being hot and itch all the time and you can't fucking scratch it because it'll make the scars worse" I take my arm away from him and stand there with my shoulders slumped, my lip wobbles as he goes and sets the ice down on the desk. Our silence is broken by Cynthia "I'm going out to the shop" she stops in her tracks as her eyes trail down to my now exposed arm. I quickly hide it behind my back looking down. She stands there shocked not quite knowing how to approach me. "Should I call your mother?" Her voice soft. "No don't call her mum she's fine I've got it" Connor steps between me and his mum, "are you sure? Surely she should go to the hospital?" Cynthia keeps prodding trying to get a response from me. "Just get the fuck out, I said She's fine" his voice raising as he walks towards his mum. "Leave her alone Connor, I'm fine Mrs Murphy thank you for your concern" I smile weakly as I reach for Connor's arm to pull him back. "Okay, are you sure that I shouldn't call you mum?" She asks looking at my face. "Yes, I'm definitely sure she's aware" I reply, with that Cynthia leaves.
"That woman I swear" Connor grumbles grabbing his hair. "She's not that bad, she's way better than my mother" I grin slowly grabbing the bandage from his desk. "You know you could probably leave it off now" he says absently. "Yeah but I don't want to chance reopening something" I mumble a reply as I attempt to wrap my wrist with one hand. "Here let me" he says walking towards me, gently he wraps it back up. "I'm sorry that you had to do that" he lets my arm go once he's done and looks at the ground. "I'm sorry if I was the cause, but like you said there is no point bleeding over people who don't deserve it" he plays with the sleeve of his hoodie as he speaks. "I'm so sorry about being such a dick and screaming at you. I don't want to admit it but hey what the fuck have I got to lose? Everything has been too much and you where just there and I took it out on you which isn't healthy at all and that's probably going to happen again if you stick around, I get if you don't want to, hang around that is" he rambles clearly uncomfortable with talking. I just stand there with tears streaming down my cheeks. "It's okay, I don't mind. I do it too" I was lying but if it made him feel better then hey it's a win I guess. "No it's not okay, look at you. I upset you nearly every time I see you and today is no different, I live on impulse everything I do is on impulse. Which fucking sucks, I can't help it and you shouldn't have to put up with it" I can tell he's trying but it's making the whole things worse. "Just shut the fuck up Connor, I don't give a shit. We're both in the same boat so why not make it a little more tolerable?" I heave through tears. "Shit are you crying?" He looks flustered. "You've seen me cry before what's the big deal?" I exhale a small laugh. "I just, fuck it" brashly he steps towards me and grabs my chin. The kiss isn't great our teeth clack together uncomfortably. "You're a terrible kisser." I whisper breaking away. "Sorry" I don't let him finish before I kiss him again quickly. I step away. "I have english work to do, and as much as I'd love to continue this I really don't want to be racing to get it done on Sunday"
A/n
This is where I'm going to leave it. I actually hate this so much but hey? I'll post the outtakes later maybe, I didn't intend for it to be this short but my inspiration for this has gone out the window and I know I won't finish this if I continue so I'll leave it here. I'm sorry the start was so weak, I have no idea what 4am me was thinking but I might start a one shot book who knows? I have some written but I don't particularly feel that inclined to put them up as they aren't the best, neither was this and I feel like my writing got worse towards the end. Oh well
YOU ARE READING
Striking Blue || Connor Murphy
FanfictionLost in thought as I watched a group of girls taking dumb photos and laughing at each other I was startled when someone slammed through the door. I didn't see who but guessing by the way it slammed shut it was probably Murphy being chased by Rich or...
