An image so clear vibrating with colors and faded scents. Red hair with golden streaks in a lose bun upon your head. Your hand tangled in mine as our feet lead us to god knows where. The world around us melt away and all I can see is you. I find myself from place to place unsure of my landings. Lost in your words wondering what it would be like to be the words you mutter. Wondering if it better to be the words you speak or hear them.
Your favorite something is a version of pink. Your favorite flower is a flower that exist somewhere. Your worst nightmare lives between the folds of your own bed and the cracks of your wall. The more I think the more I seem to forget. It frightens me that I may not know you the way I use to. I can't tell if I knew who you were and not who you are or if I sadly never knew either.
I worry I'm a selfish lover. I worry I concern myself with my needs above yours and I worry that this fear is a reality. I dont know who to fix it but I know I fear my own voice. I fear the darkness I believe I hold. I fear the light you held has gone out. I wonder if you feel as alone as I? I wonder if I'll ever get to talk to you the way i use to. I wonder if I'll ever get the attention from you that I use to.
I wonder if we wont have to hide. I wonder if we got the chance to run would we. I wonder if this could all be over would we let it be or do we need it. Do we need the chaos? Do I need the chaos? Do I need the back and forth to remember what it is I'm fighting for? Do I just simply need you? Am I getting payback for all the ones I mistreated? Is the doubt I put you through, the fights, and the loneliness my krama? Is this my warning, my wake up call to become better?
You make me want to be better. You make me want to thrive. You make me want to climb out of the pit I dug myself into. You make me want to be a wife, mother, and partner more then anything. I want to be domestic with you. I want to love you the way you deserve.
I fear I can't. I fear you are to good for me. I don't fear I know. I know you could do better then me. I know I don't deserve you. I haven't from the day I met you.
I don't deserve you.
YOU ARE READING
Write Me A Forever
Aléatoire*"sequel" to Letters Unsent* This is me moving on to a new stage in a life I'm slowing taking a hold of. If you read Letters Unsent then consider these sent.
