I want to be Happy

Chapter 11

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Chapter 11

"Need me just shout" she said looking at me then she walked out the door

I got one on Jack's blankets and put it over his head to hide him

"you can turn around now" I said to Alex, he turned around and walk over and sat at the end of my bed

"I am sorry Laura, I was scared" he said while looking at me

"Don't you think I was scared to, you leaved me to look after OUR baby when he was in hospital, do you know how long I sat with him, I would get up every morning at 5 and go to his side, I wouldn't leave until Anna told me to go" I said to him trying to stay calm, I had Noticed Jack had stopped sucking so without thinking I took the blanket off, I really wasn't bothered if he saw, I pulled my top up and laid Jack down In between my legs he was sucking his thump which made me laugh, I saw Alex tense up

"He's not going to bite you know" I said to him, he rolled his eyes and we both chuckled

"So what's his full name?" Alex asked

"Jack James Applegate" I said while stroking Jacks little bit of hair

"That's a nice name" Alex said, I looked at him and he was watching Jack, he was Smiling, I felt bad that he hasn't held him yet, I bit my bottom lip and thought about asking him if he would.

"Do. Do you want to hold him?" I asked him, he looked up at me, he looked nervous as he looked back at Jack

"come and rest against the heard board and I'll put him in your arms" he nodded and moved to sit next to me, I pick Jack up slowly and placed him in Alex's arms, I stroked his head before moving away about so I could look at Alex who was looking at Jack like his was going to brake, I laughed a little bit which made him look at me

"What's so funny?" He said with a smirk

"you, you're looking at him like his going to break and who would have thought that Mr. Player would be the daddy sort" Alex rolled his eyes and looked back at Jack who was now awake , Alex smiled than looked back at me

"He has your eyes" I smiled and moved closer to him so I could see Jack, I held his little hand

"Yer, he looks like James" I said sadly, I felt a tear roll down my eyes, I quickly sat up and wiped my eye, I didn't want Alex to see me cry

"I have to... Umm have to go to the toilet" I couldn't think of anything else to say, I walked into the bathroom (I had an onsite), I shut the door and slid down the door, I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head back on the door,

"Laura?" I heard someone say from outside the door didn't answer, I just sat there letting tears fall, I wasn't crying but the tears kept coming, I heard more voices outside talking

"What happened? Why is she in the bathroom?" I could hear Nate ask

"I don't know, she said that he looked like James and then went in there" I heard Alex say

"Laura? It's Ella, can I come in?" she said quietly, it sounded like she was standing by the door

"Just let us in Laura" I heard Nate say, I raised his voice a little bit

"Nate, just shut up ok? All of you just shut up" I heard Ella yell/whisper at them,

"Laura, hunni let me in" Ella said to me, I slid across the floor she could open the door, she opened the door slowly and came in, I saw the boys try and get in but she shut the door and locked it before they could get in, she stood and looked at me

"Ella... I don't know if I can do this" I sobbed to her, she sat next to me and put her arm around me

Nate's POV

Laura and Alex had been talking for a little while, I went to check on the with Ella, we walked up the stairs and saw Alex sitting on the bed with Jack

"Where's Laura?" I asked him, he got of the bed and put Jack in the cot

"She went into the bathroom, she got upset about something" he said while he walked towards us, Ella went to the door and tried to get Laura to let her in

"Laura?"  Ella said quietly standing by the door

I looked back at Alex "What happened? Why is she in the bathroom?" I asked him

"I don't know, she said that he looked like James and then went in there" He said, I walked over to the door and stood behind her

"Laura? It's Ella, can I come in?" Ella said quietly

"Just let us in Laura" I said, raising my voice a little bit

"Nate, just shut up ok? All of you just shut up" yell/whisper at  us

"Laura, hunni let me in" Ella said to her, I heard some shuffling so I guessed that Laura had moved away from the door, Ella open it slowly and went in, before I could go in Ella shut the door and locked it, I stood by the door and tried to listen to what they were saying

"Ella... I don't know if I can do this" I heard Laura cry, I sighed and walked back to the bed, I sat next to Alex who was looking at his hands

"I don't know what I done, we were talking then she got upset" he was still looking at his hands, I put my hand on his back, he looked up at me

"Did anyone tell you why she was here or what happened?" I asked him

"All my dad told me was that she her brother died" I sighed

"Well she was with him when he died, she spent his last moment with him... something you have to understand is that James was the only family she had, when he died she didn't leave her room until his funeral, I've never seen her so closed off" I paused, I looked over at Jacks cot and saw he was awake, I walked over to his cot and sat next to it

"She misses him, he's last words to her was that she would be a great mum and that he loved her, she's scared that she won't be a good mum... that day when I got the call I wasn't told much on the phone I was only told that he had got in an accident, I went to the hospital and thought, 'you know he strong that he's just got a few cuts' be when I saw Laura standing in the middle on the hall way watching a door, see looked at me, her eyes... it told me everything, when two paramedic came up to her she didn't say anything, then when she went to the door and looked in the window she fell to the floor... she wouldn't speak to any one, the first time she spoke was at his funeral...  she's finding it hard to move on when Jack looks like him, you have to help her Alex, you have to be the dad" I finished as I watched jack sucking his thump, Alex stood next to me

"I'm going to help her, but she'll need all of us" I nodded we both stood there watching Jack falling asleep

Ella's POV

She leaned on me and cried, I was so sorry for her, she didn't think she could look after Jack, I pulled her away so she was facing me, I wiped her face and lifted her chin up so I could see her eyes

"I have no idea how hard this must be for you but you are all Jack has, I don't know how you feel being reminded of James when you see him but you need to prove to James that you are a good mum... Nate told me everything; you and Jack only have each other, you need him like he needs you" I said to her, she sniffed, Nate told me all about Laura but I didn't realize how bad this would be

"I'm trying to make him proud...I am but...Jack looks like him" she sobbed to me, I felt myself crying, I pulled her into a hug, we had been siting on the floor for a while, she had fallen asleep so called for Nate,

Nate opened the door and watched me and Laura sitting there

"Will carry her to her bed" I told/asked him, he walked over to us and picked her up bridal style, she put her arm around his neck , I stood up and stood in front of him

"Are you OK?" he asked me

"I don't know how much more we can help her, she has to let go" I said back to him, its true, she had to let go of James and move on with Jack