a/n; this chapter more focuses on ashton's dreams. so, yeah. sorry if it's boring/short.
"i really wish that i could wake up and just start life all over again, you know? like, wake up and you're in first grade again and actually enjoy your childhood; actually enjoy your life, change things, avoid things, unmeet people, take chances; just fucking start over."
note to self; he uses his hands to make his point.
"who do you want to unmeet?"
"my, uh, ex boyfriend, i guess. he literally has no idea how much pain he's caused me in the past."
michael.
"oh. i'm...i'm sorry about that." i scratch the back of my neck, feeling a bit awkward. luke doesn't seem to notice; he shrugs, smiling softly and leaning his elbow on the carpet of my living room floor, using it as support. "eh, it's okay, it was a long time ago."
i nod, choosing to keep all comments of michael to myself. i sigh, not continuing the conversation and laying back on my bed. luke follows my actions and lays next to me, crossing his legs.
"my favorite color is blue, i don't like broccoli, music is the only reason i haven't killed myself yet-"
my eyes immediatly widen, "what?"
"sorry, my mouth has no filter." he chuckles and glances at me then back at the ceiling.
i purse my lips, thinking about wether to ask him this or not. i decide that i should. "are you- are you depressed, luke?"
he smiles, turning his head to me. "no, i'm just luke." he says, "i'm sorry about last time i came over by the way. i honestly don't know why i said those things. really embarrassing, actually." he smiles, but i can tell he feels awkward just bringing up the subject. i don't really want to let the subject of him possibly being depressed up, but i can see that he does, so i let it go. i give him a soft smile, sitting up slightly and leaning my elbow on my bed, luke does the same, leaning in a little; like he's genuinely interested in what i have to say.
"it's okay, luke. i mean, i felt a bit awkward, but, if we're being honest, it, um, it -- you kind of had a little bit of an affect on me." i blush as i admit this to him, but you can't blame me, it's a really embarrassing thing to admit.
he doesn't do anything, just stares at me with such awe in his eyes and soon a smirk grows on his face and his eyebrows raise. "did i now?" he replies. i roll my eyes, but the embarrassing smile on my face just doesn't fade one bit. his facial expression doesn't fade as i playfully push him arm and go back to laying down, but still face him. "yes, you did. can we move on now?" i ask. he acutally giggles, but nods and lays down beside me.
we really don't talk for a while, just kinda lay there, exchanging glances, listening to the pitter pattering sound of the rain outside; it's nice. there's no awkward feeling in the room, no uncomfortable glances, nothing like that. just me and luke relaxing on my bed. i just kinda wish this is how it could have been the first time he came over, but i'm really glad that it's like this now.
my living room starts to dim and before we know it, it's completely dark. i don't bother to turn on any lights, or move from where i'm laying at all, or even change out of my, somewhat uncomfortable, skinny jeans because who cares? i kinda just love the fact that luke hasn't left yet.
i feel my bed move, like luke is trying to find a comfortable position, but then i feel his arm snake around my waist and his body moves very close to mine. i silently pray that he doesn't feel me tense up because the true fact is i love that his arm is around my waist right now and that he's snuggling into the crook of my neck. he knows what he's doing, right? he's not asleep; i don't hear him snoring. then again, he could be just a very quiet sleeper. yeah, he's probably just quietly asleep and likes to cuddle something while sleeping. yeah, that's it. oh, jesus, what if he wakes up and gets all weirded out and never speaks to me again? what if he-
