Heartbreaker

Chapter 12

Mason's POV

I should have known better. Stretching out and reaching for Alex I was met with a cold empty space. I didn't panic at first. I opened my eyes scanning my room wondering where she went. I got up and checked the bathroom but still no sight of her. After checking every single room in the entire house, the panic set in. Grabbing my phone from my nightstand I called her.

Ring

Ring

Ring

It felt like like forever before the phone went to voicemail. Maybe her phone died. She wouldn't just leave not after last night. I knew she forgave me too easily. I mean who sleeps with someone who just admitted to cheating on her. I should have known better.

Rushing around pulling on random clothing I wasn't even sure I matched but that didn't matter I needed to see her. It was Saturday morning so I tried her penthouse. I was surprised at how fast I managed to make it there with New York traffic and everything. Running into the lobby, I spoke to the front desk guy.

"I'm here to see Alexandra Adams," I said trying to catch my breath.

He gave me a sympathetic look and instead of calling her he said to me. "I'm sorry, she's not here."

"When do you think she'll be back," I asked my chest tightening as I panted for air.

" I'm not sure," he said with a sad smile. "You should call her."

I knew he was lying. I knew she was here but there was no way I could get up to her penthouse. I needed to see her and I felt myself start to hyperventilate. I needed to do something anything to get to her.

"Call her and tell her I need to talk to her," I growled.

What has this chick done to me? Not to long ago I was worried about breaking her heart but it looks like the opposite happened. I needed to know why she would do this to me. If she was mad about me kissing that bitch last night then why sleep with me? I knew I wasn't innocent in all this but she was wicked for leading me to believe I had her. I think I knew all this time that I was in love with her but kept lying to myself. Why else would I have kept her around knowing damn well I wasn't getting any action. But the way she acted towards me there was no way she didn't feel the same. There's no way she's that good of a liar. No one can fake the looks she gave me. How ironic? The womanizer falls in love just to have his heartbroken.

After what seemed like eternity the man handed over the phone to me. Taking it from his grip I wanted to yell at her but I needed to know if I'm jumping to conclusions or if this was real.

"Fireball, what's going on?" I asked softly.

"You can't take a hint, can you?" She snapped.

"You weren't saying that last night when I was fucking you were you?" I growled instantly regretting my words.

"Don't you get it?," she growled. "I don't give a fuck about you."

If words could kill, I would be dead right now. My heart was just ripped out of my chest by her perfectly manicured hands. She didn't love me back she just used me. Only once have I felt this much pain. When my mother died. Now I knew how love could destroy you like it did my dad.

Dropping the phone as if it was poisonous, I ran out of the building. I needed to get home. Rushing back to my house I waited till I was safely tucked away in my shower to cry. But it only made matters worse. I knew she showered in here and all I could picture was her sitting on this bench covering herself back when we first met. I couldn't finish my shower I ended up running out in just my towel landing on my bed. The bed we shared. The bed we made love in. I couldn't stand being in this room the smell of her radiated off of the bedding. I knew I couldn't sleep in here ever again. I might have to sell my damn house. The living room reminded me of her. How we would stay up late watching tv and eating popcorn. The kitchen brought memories back of me making her breakfast every morning while she sat across talking to me and the dinners she made for me to come home to. She would leave work early to make sure I had food ready when I arrived. I wanted it all gone. The house I once adored more than anything, my prize possession, turned into something I loathed. All because of her. I wanted to hate her, I wanted her to feel my pain, but there was nothing I could do.

I found myself wondering to the bar I was at the night I cheated on Alex. I might as well get laid while I'm here since she doesn't want me anymore. If she ever did want me. What the fuck was the point of all this? Did she want to slowly kill me?

I was on my fourth drink when the first girl approached me. I looked her over. She wasn't pretty enough. Her eyes were a cold bland brown whereas Alex's changed with what she wore. Some times they would look green sometimes brown but my favorite were when they were gold. I loved with those golden eyes looked up at me with so much understanding. I needed to find someone with hazel eyes. Ignoring the girl I continued to drink as more girls came up to me. One was too short, other didn't have enough ass, then the last who made me give up hope didn't have the same glow as Alex. None of them were her and I couldn't bring myself to touch anyone else. That was when I knew if I didn't have Alex I wouldn't have anyone. She was it for me.

I left the bar after my realization; I needed fresh air and to clear my head of her. The sun was setting as I caught myself by her penthouse again. She was walking out wearing a black skin tight dress that showed way more than I would have liked for her to show but what does that matter? She's not mine anymore. Hell she never was. It was a good thing I didn't have my car because if I did I would have followed her. I watched as she drove off and my heart tighten even more. God how do I ease this pain? I made my way back to my house; my torture zone.

I couldn't tell how much time passed between work and sulking I didn't have a chance to pay attention to the hours, days or months. I wrote her letters; she'd never see them but it helped me with the pain. I looked down at the letter I just wrote her and reread it.

Dear Fireball,

Time is passing so quickly and I can't tell you how long it's been but I can say that it's long enough to where your scent is gone from my house. I thought at this point I would forget you but still you're here. It's like you're everywhere. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely breath without you. I tried to distract myself countless times but I couldn't even look at another girl let alone touch them. It's like you put a spell on me or a curse. Are you some type of witch? I didn't know someone could hurt me so badly. You really did a number on me. I want to hate you so badly but I cant. I love you too much. There's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. Pathetic, I know.

Do you know why I call you my fireball? Because there's this spark in you. I saw it when I first met you. You took out Hank by yourself and then proceeded like nothing happened. I could see there was this darkness in you; it intrigued me. I didn't realize that darkness would destroy me. I even catch myself following you. I know I'm a stalker but I can't stay alway. It's killing me slowly. I just hope you're happy.

I love you,
Mason

I folded the letter up and put it in the bin under my bed with all the other ones. I made my way outside to my car. I didn't mean to be a stalker but I couldn't help it. I found myself driving by her work several times a day then I would follow her home I told myself it was to make sure she was safe but I knew I was just lying to myself. She didn't take long to move on. She had a preppy ass dude she would go out with almost every night. Seeing her with him hurt me more than anything I've ever experienced. Especially when she would smile at him. That was my smile. They would go out clubbing and he would put his hands all over her body touching her all over. She looked like she enjoyed it too. Sometimes when she was with him I'd catch her eyes wonder off looking into space and a blank look would come over her. I would tell myself she was thinking of me but I knew it was a lie.

Then there was the times I'd watch him walk into her apartment building. It killed me not knowing what was going on. Did she give herself to him like she did me? Did he make her feel as good as I did? Did she tell him she loved him; what she couldn't do with me? I knew this wasn't healthy or even legal but I couldn't stop myself. I was just trying to protect her! I'm such a fucking liar. Two hours later he emerged from the building. His hair messier than before, his shirt wrinkled, and her lipstick all over his lips and neck. I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. Why wasn't I good enough for her? Why couldn't she love me? This brick couldn't even stay to cuddle with her it was obvious he was just using her for sex. Why couldn't she see this? Having enough I went home and went to my spare bedroom to cry myself to sleep. I haven't slept in my room since she left. My bed reminded me too much of her. It all reminded me of her. I wanted to set the place on fire but then I'd lose all I had of her if I did. And that would only make matters worse. I should have known better than to get involved with her.