Save Me. (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 11 - Pressure

Lacey's POV

By the time Mahogany and I are finally ready, all of the boys are already at the pool. Thank goodness she had shorts for me to wear. I'm not planning on swimming anyway.

"Are you okay?" Mahogany asks from beside me, eyeing me curiously.

I nod in response. "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask calmly, even though on the inside I'm freaking out. I hope my nervousness isn't showing through my cool facade.

"I don't know.." is all she says back. We don't talk the rest of the way to the pool. I really hope that it doesn't get awkward between us because Mahogany is the only girl here. It's not exactly easy to be relatable with a bunch of boys. Mahogany is one of the only friends I've ever had, either way, and I don't want that to change.

"Hey guys! Look who's here!" Matt yells excitedly, retrieving the attention of the rest of the group. His muscles strain as he pulls himself out of the water and runs over to us, almost slipping in the process, and giving us a big, wet hug.

"Come and join us!" He says cheerfully. His enlivened nature reminds me of a little boy.

"I'm good right now, but I'm sure Mahogany would love to swim with you." I nudge her arm, smiling. She looks over at me and smiles.

"But I want you to swim too," Matthew pouts.

"But I want to get a tan," I pout back.

"You can while you're in the pool!" He argues.

"But not a very good one." Mahogany remarks, and I smirk, nodding my head.

"Fine," he frowns, not sounding too happy. Mahogany smiles and takes his hand, dragging him towards the pool. I quickly brush away the odd feeling of jealousness that washes over me. I watch the interactions between Matt and Mahogany, seeing her strip off the clothes she wore over her bathing suit and Matt watching her in awe. For Mahogany's sake, I mentally decide that I'm going to back off of Matt.

I walk over to one of the cheap chairs and recline it back to lay down on it. My towel is layed over the metallic surface of the chair and I cautiously remove my shirt, assuring that no one is watching first. In a swift movement I lay down on my stomach, so as not to show off my exposed torso.

It's not long before I hear some shuffling beside me. I look over to see Taylor pulling up a chair beside me, but not reclining it. He sits down.

"Hey." he grins, looking over at me.

"Hi." I respond, smiling, and squint to see his beautiful features in the unrelenting sunlight. I lay the side of my head flat against my chair so I don't have to continue straining to lift it.

There's a moment of silence. "Why won't you come swim?" he asks curiously.

I avert my eyes from him awkwardly. "I just don't really feel comfortable getting in the pool."

"Well, you have no reason to be uncomfortable." he half smiles as I look back up at him. He stands from his chair and stretches out his hand for me. I study it for a second, debating. I flip over and take his hand. As he pulls me up I feel myself begin to tremble. He must be internally disgusted by my figure that is only clothed in a bikini top and shorts. He looks down, digits finding the button on my shorts. I quickly grab his hands and shake my head urgently.

"No."

"Why not?" He wonders, eyebrows pulling together.

"B-because." I feel tears sting in my eyes in panic, praying they'll go unnoticed and won't go streaming down my cheeks. He gives me a puzzled look and his hands travel back to the button despite my words of urgency.

"But it's just-"

"I don't want to swim, okay?!" I cut him off, shoving his hands away and I get the feeling that everybody is staring at us. My eyes flicker around frantically prior to me making a beeline for an exit. I find myself back in the hotel and then inside the elevator. I hope that nobody saw that whole situation or I'll probably be seen as too emotional. Of course, that might be true, but I can't let people see the evidence of my self-mutilation.

I don't have a key to get into my room so I decide to find somewhere else to calm down. I go all the way to the top level of the hotel. After I exit the elevator, I look around and see a short staircase at the end of the hall. I reach the top and find the roof like I had suspected. I just need to sit and take everything in for a bit. I need to be alone for a while like I used to.