Ice To Meet You

Too sleepy to think of a title.

The Facebook live goes off smoothly, all I had to do was hook the mike up and carefully position the phone to get an angle that shows all the speakers talking. It was a safe sex and what teenagers should know about sex workshop. If I had it growing up—I would have been one educated teen. I love how I work in an organization that takes steps to help educate girls, and it's sad that Substance's reputation is only that of a sex-crazed women's magazine when really—they are doing their best to empower women too. There is no doubt sex sells and they have to take care of their bread and butter but to host a free event like this one is so sweet.

Hannah is going to some party tonight, and I am looking forward to running home—do you hear that inner bitch? And I am then taking a warm scented bath, shaving my lady bits and watching YouTube videos of people losing their virginity. I got this—there is nothing to freak out over. Sex is just sex.

"Is it though?" Inner voice spills the real tea, and I let it run over. The voices inside my head are making my real life unbearably hard—why can't I be one of those people who thinks and feels nothing?

As I exit the building I see Nate looking into his camera. I think he was one of the few people who covered tonight's events too. I tap him on his shoulder—he looks up and gives me his infamous grin. I grin back.

"How you are doing new girl?" he asks—he's got a Cali touch to him that is un-mistakenly beachy and laid back.

"I am good, how are you, Nate?"

"Pretty good, you look a little under the weather," I think he means I am not wearing makeup. Men I tell you—they want a girl au natural, but they have no idea how much makeup it takes to achieve that look.

"Just a long night of drinking with a bunch of people," I say, and he winks at me. Okay, he's a cutie, I have to give him that.

We exchange numbers and I wave him a goodbye. I go to Walgreens and buy my first bikini razor and not first shaving gel—the bush's got to go. My run back is grueling, but I get home and make myself a delicious avocado blueberry and raspberry smoothie with almond yogurt to reward myself. I love taking care of my body and eating healthy.

"Maybe next time you can invite me to one of your parties," Nate texts me. He's achingly dull compared to Liam but he's still a cutie.

"Stop comparing every guy you meet to Liam," Inner voice advises me and I agree. He and I can become great friends and maybe I can take those photography lessons I've been wanting to take since forever.

"I think we're having something on our rooftop this weekend but I'll ask my roommate and confirm," I text back. Hannah would love to meet him—for all you know she would love to do a lot more with him.

"Would love to see you outside work," Nate texts me. Now I wouldn't love to see him but if I do see him, I won't mind.

I text back "me too!"

I fill up the tub in my bathroom with warm water and pour my hot cocoa scented bubble bath. I am so glad mom gifted me this—it's like having hot chocolate without the added calories I don't need. 

I spend extra care shaving and even though I am not 100% satisfied with my handy work but it'll do. It's nothing as embarrassing as it was—fuck he changed me yesterday—he took off my panties.

I immediately text Hannah, "He took my panties off yesterday." I dry myself with a towel and I feel weird down there but it's whatever right—I'll get used to it. It feels different and sensitive.

Hannah replies, "We've gone thru this. Y'all did not fuck, stop freaking."

"He saw my bush," I text.