Ice To Meet You

In My Mind Part 1

He kisses me on the mouth, his lips evading my mouth. He places his hands on my, grabs my face and plants kisses all over my forehead, my cheeks, my chin and finally, comes back to my lips.
"Do you know how precious you are?" He purrs as his face is inches away from mine.
I move my head from left to right. I don't know how precious I am, all I know is that if I was in pain, he would be my morphine.
"You are mine, Mia." The possessiveness in his voice sends shivers down my spine. Of course, I am, that has always been clear but is he mine?

"I want something Liam," I whisper, my voice trembling with excitement and anxiety
"Anything you want, you don't even have to ask."
"I want you, Liam."
"You have me."
Oh God, he's not getting it. How do I say it without sounding desperate? How do women ask for sex without feeling self-conscious?
"I mean — I was saying that — Liam I want you in that way... you know."
"In what way?" He asks as he cups my face again.
"I — I want — I want you in the ..."
Why can't I just say it? My heart is racing and my face feels hot and I feel like there are a thousand people watching my face when there is clearly just him.
He kisses the tip of my nose and creates a trail of kisses from my nose to my neck. I squirm in pleasure. Can he not feel what he's doing to me?
"You want me in the?" He asks, his piercing blue gaze seeing through me.
"In the rude way," I spit out.
He chuckles and I want to punch him in the face. Why would you laugh when I am already so embarrassed? He knows what I want—he just wants me to say it to him.
"How is that?"
"You know — I — forget it. Forget I said anything at all." Why did I think it would go as planned? Why was I so sure he would be understanding about this?
"Say it Mamma Mia," he mocks me.
"I am not a pizza store!" I protest. That is the unsexist name anyone has ever given me.
"What do you want sweetheart, just say it and it's yours."
"I want us to — I just — I want, do you want?" why can't I say it? I want to say I want us to fuck but all that comes out of my mouth is air and a bunch of words that make no sense.
"The answer is yes, I want us to too — I just — eh eh — I just..." I hit him on the shoulder for mocking me. He laughs his boyish laugh and kisses me again on my lips.
"You're so mean."
"Say it my baby. I want to hear you say it to me."
"Liam, I want us — I mean you — I want you to make love to me." I mean fuck. Shit, I wanted to say fuck. Oh my God, he's going to flip out and I will stay a virgin forever. Now for the next hour, we will discuss how what we are doing is not making love.
"I would want nothing more than to make love to you my baby." Wait what? Did he really say make love? You heard it, it was make love right? Can you make love to somebody you don't love?
That's just fuck, right?
Am I tripping or did he just confess to? You know what, fuck it. I love him and I'll love him for the both of us until he falls in love with me too.
Hw his boxers and climbs in bed with me. It's too dark for me to see him clearly but I have—I mean I can kinda see it, you know?
"I am still upset that you yelled at me but I do love the roses," I state my honest feelings. You know when you are anxious and you just talk to ease the anxiety? That's what I am doing except why am I doing this and delaying what I can't wait for at all.

"I am glad you love the roses and I am upset with you too but do you really want to talk about that right now?"
"Can we talk about it in the morning?" Why am I still talking and not sucking his dick?

"I have a breakfast meeting with a client but we can talk over dinner tomorrow," he says as he pushes strands of my hair away from my face back.
"I am scared," the truth slips and what the fuck Mia? Nobody asked you to be honest. Why are you telling him exactly how you feel? Can't you keep things to your damn self.
"Scared of what?"
"What if I am not good enough? What if the sex between us isn't good? What if I don't know what to do —" he kisses me and I can't talk anymore. I kiss him back obviously as if in any world I won't. I am made to kiss him and get kissed by him.
"I am scared too," he whispers in my mouth and goes back to kiss me. I peel myself away from him and I know that if I don't talk now, I'll be attacked by his kisses again.
"What are you scared of Liam?" It just doesn't make sense.
He hides his face in the nook of my neck.
"Don't worry Liam, you won't be that bad in bed and even though you're competing with all my fantasies of you — I think you'll be just fine," I can't keep my giggles in anymore. They just bubble up on my lips and escape like champagne that is wiggled too much and is finally uncorked.
"You have fantasies of me?"
I nod my head and he smiles shyly — a boyish eyes looking at the floor and lips barely curving in a smile, smile. It just makes me melt.
"What are you scared of Liam?" I have to know. I am dying a little every second he is withholding that knowledge from me.
"I don't want to hurt you, baby."
"Then be gentle and loving," I mean emotionally and I am sure he means physically and he won't get it but at least I said it.
"I don't know if I know how to be any of those things," he purrs.
"Then it'll be something new for the both of us." He is gentle and he is loving. It's so weird that he can't see it.
It's like somebody told him one day that he was a bad guy and he believed that person. Maybe that person was right, maybe in the past, he was a bad guy but he's not a bad guy today.

He's overprotective and possessive and overbearing — but he is kind, caring and soft. I like knowing I am cared for. Am I every modern feminist's nightmare?
"Are your ribs doing better?"
Oh yeah right — he's worried because of my ribs. Of course, dammit Mia! Why did I think he was worried because I am a virgin and he didn't want to hurt me? Why does that sting — not like an ant bite but more like a bee sting?
"If I wasn't injured, would you still worryabout hurting me?" Say yes Liam.
"No, why would I?" Because I've neverhad sex. Because your dick will evade my body and I am scared that I might not be able to walk. Okay, I am being dramatic but these are things to think about. Accidents do certainly happen.
He holds my face in his palms and kisses my lips. "Sex isn't supposed to cause you pain my baby. It's fun. You'll enjoy it — stop worrying about it."
"What if I am bad at it?" I ask one last time. I don't want him to leave me because I suck in bed.
He takes his hand and places it on his crotch."Do you think you're the only one affected by this Mia?"
"I am just affected more I guess."
"It's not a competition. I am attracted to you and I want to fuck the daylight out of you. That has been the one prominent thought in my mind for months. You're in my mind Mia, don't you get it?"