Ice To Meet You

Exclusive or Ex-clusive?

We are at a stalemate and even though I am sitting on his lap—the Liam I was with a few minutes away is far gone. We aren't in the parking lot anymore, he is driving and is it even legal for me to sit on his lap while he drives?

I nuzzle my head in his chest and huddle in. He doesn't reciprocate—it's been 15 minutes since we've been on the road and maybe I should get up.

"He still isn't exclusive Mia. You haven't gotten your answers," inner bitch reminds me and I am hit with a wave of despair. What if he drops me off to my apartment and goes back for more at Sophia's? Will he hold her like he was holding me tonight? Is she good at sucking dick? I won't even know what to do. I have to get away—my anxiety is starting to creep in and all I see when I close my eyes is both of them doing it and I don't know how that descriptive imagery stop.

"Are you okay?" Liam asks me, his hand patting my back.

No, my heart is splintering into tiny flecks because of your fuckery last night, you stupid asshole. "I am fine," I spit out instead.

"You're trembling." Don't you just hate it when your body betrays your mind? Like at least try to be on the same team man. He is holding me to his chest—his hands are keeping me snug and warm.

"Don't worry about it," I lie.

"How about we make a deal?" he proposes.

"Don't make any deals with the devil Mia," inner voice cautions me.

"Sure," I say. Telling me not to do something is a sure way to get me to do it.

"Be a 100% open and honest with me at all times and I promise to give you my undivided attention," he says and his tone is sincere—he really is giving me what I want. Oh my... I can't contain my heart in my chest any longer.

"Does that mean we are exclusive?"

"You love the word, don't you?" not until now but it might become my favorite word after today.

"Say it, Liam," I restate.

"As long as you are a 100% honest with me, I will be a 100% exclusive with you." My heart is performing a ballet right now.

I don't say anything—my emotions are all over the place and I don't trust myself to form coherent words just yet. Instead, I just wrap my arms and legs around him even tighter. I, Mia Harriet Dawson, have William Kent as mine and only mine. I kiss his chin and he burrows his face in mine.

"What were you thinking that upset you earlier?" how does he know I was upset?

"I was imagining Sophia and you," I say and borrow my head in the crook of his neck.

"We were at a different place yesterday than we are today baby," he says and although I hate words coming out his mouth—did you notice the baby? It just makes me dissolve in a pool of mush.

"It still hurt," I explain. How is that for 100% honesty?

He kisses my hair and we are almost home. I recognize the familiar streets.

"How many lovers have you had Mia?" Oh, shit—damn you 100% honesty.

"Three!" That's a good number, right? I am such a liar. His hold on me loosens. For a 22-year-old girl that is a good number, right?

"What all have you done with them?" Liam nudges me to reveal details about my fictional past life. Holy shit, what all is there? I want to hide my face in a blanket under a fort in a submarine.

"Don't be shy Mia, act confident!" Inner bitch offers me some superfluous advice.

"Just the usual," I lie. Fortunately, I am hiding my face from him by nesting in his neck. Unfortunately, in less than 2 seconds we will be home.

"What's the usual?" he asks as he turns on the corner of my street.

"You know... Oh god, we are home. What is the time?" Please forget about this Liam.

He stops the car and I am ready to jump out of his arms and never see him again. He grabs my butt with both his hands and his eyes are fixed on me—why do I have a feeling I am going to be busted any minute now?

"What's the usual Mia?" He asks and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I bite my lips and look down, trying to not look into his all-pervading eyes. He dips his face under my face and places his forehead under my chin. Then he slowly lifts his forehead—pushing my face forward. He's so pushy in a gentle way—I can't even think because he kisses the space between my nose and my lips—tenderly.

I moan involuntarily.

"Tell me," he pesters—his voice firm yet tenderish.

"Just basic sex stuff that people do," my voice is shaky and if he knew me better he would know I am lying. Contrary to previous evidence may suggest, I actually suck at lying. Yeah, I know—hard to believe.

"So, like anal?" he asks me and I am—what? How is that the usual stuff people do? Fifty Shades of Grey avoids it, how is that basic? He is cornering me and seducing me and I don't want to lie anymore. I am so tired of living this dual life—I just want to tell him.

"Don't, he's going to know that nobody wanted to sleep with you!" Inner bitch yells at me. So, I bite my tongue and try to cocoon in his arms. He doesn't let me. He is holding my butt at an arms distance and his eyes are examining my every move.

"Talk to me Mia," he harasses me. I don't like him right now.

"Just get it over with Mia, he will eventually know." Inner voice has finally spoken.

"I wouldn't know," I whisper—thankfully it's dark. This is so humiliating. Who is a virgin at fucking 22?

Not anyone in demand.

He turns the lights in the car on and can tonight get any worse? His blue eyes are watching me attentively.

"Why not?" Why is he so hell bent on this?

"Why are we talking about the past? How many women have you slept with Kent? It doesn't matter," I fire back—annoyed at his keen interest in my sex life.

"I honestly don't have a number—I was on a lot of shit for a few years during and after college. You aren't like me, I hope,"

"What is a lot of shit?"

"We are talking about you right now Mia, don't change the topic," he changes the topic. How clever.

"I've never slept with anyone okay? I am unexciting and inexperienced and I probably can't give you all the amazing experiences Sophia gives you." Go ahead, end it. Dump me already. 

I push my body away from him and he doesn't let me. What the fuck is his problem?

"Go ahead judge me, Liam. I am not the kind of woman you usually hang out with. Do you want to end it already?" Please don't. Can he hear the pleading in my voice?

His hair is slowly crawling on his forehead and I want to push it back but I also want to let it stay there cause it's so cute. Yes, I am distracting myself because that is what I do in high-stress situations.

He kisses the tip of my nose and then the space between my eyebrows and then my left eye... my right eye and finally my lips. It's a soft kind of kiss, the kind that slowly builds up and deepens into something more. 

The kind of kiss that I hope our situationship will ultimately become. I pull his hair back and he deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue down my throat. I pull the first button on his shirt and rip it apart. 

Sorry, so not sorry. 

Author's note 

Hey guys, here is another update. Really sleepy and have work tomorrow but didn't want to not give you a little something to look forward to tomorrow. Remember this is a slow burn. Don't forget to add me on Instagram, link is in the bio :)