Ice To Meet You

Chapter 64

"You are not in love with me," Liam yells at me as he storms back in the room. I don't know who he thinks he is or why he thinks he knows how I feel but he is wrong. I feel for him what I have never felt before—I feel protective and mushy yet strong and vulnerable for him. It's love, right? I am pretty sure—I would much rather be hurt than watch him get hurt. That's love, right? I forgave him for creating chaos out of life without him being sorry—that's got to be.

"I am," I announce—the significance of those words washing over me. I have never told a guy I loved him before this. Will I remember this moment for the rest of my life? I hope not because Liam's face isn't what I was hoping for. I mean I know it's too soon but he does care about me, right?

"What does love mean to you, Mia?"

"It's hard to explain—it's a feeling of just knowing... I just know." How does anyone express love? You just know when you know.

"Have you ever been in love before?"

"No, not like this at least," although some experience would certainly make this conversation less awkward. What the hell is going on here?

"What is this love?"

"You know—like I haven't been romantically in love with someone before. I have loved people before..." He is thinking about what I just said and I bite my thumbnail.

"That is not hygienic Mia, stop it," Inner bitch says in my mom's voice. How did this become one of the most anxious things I have ever done? Why did I have to say anything at all?

"Who have you loved before?" He asks as he pulls the chair from the dining table. He flips the chair backward and sits on it. The back of the chair is on his chest and he looks like he is doing a business deal with me.

"Just family—friends and dogs—I was in love with my dogs growing up." Is this normal? This kind of interrogation he is bringing on to me.

He interlocks his fingers together in a half praying motion and I can feel his brain working overtime.

"How is this love different?"

"I want to you know—be physical with you and stuff," And do some rude things to you—things I never thought I would be thinking of, much less acting on.

"You mean sex with me?" I can feel my cheeks heating up. This is so embarrassing—I look at his eyes and he has anger written all over them. How can you be mad at someone for loving you? I just don't get it at all. Shouldn't that make him flattered or stroke his ego or something?

"Amongst other things I guess..." Can the doctor or nurse or Hannah or somebody just barge in? Pretty please with a cherry on top.

"Have you never felt that way for anyone else?"

"Not to this extent..."

"To what extent?"

"I wanted to desperately kiss my crush in high school alright but I didn't want to rip his clothes off and pounce on him as I do with you..." What am I saying? Why am I talking? I look down to avoid his piercing gaze. I wish I could hide in my blankets and call it a day. I can't take any more of this humiliation.

"So, you are in lust with me."

"It's not just physical Liam."

"Then what is it?"

"I also think you're smart and funny and when you're not being an asshole, kinda sweet..."

"You don't fall in love with sweet Mia." Not you clearly.