sex addicts [michael clifford]

21: true dickhead

"michael... miiiiiiichael," devon sang, nudging him awake.

"hmmm," he responded, not moving an inch.

devon sighed, smacking his arm. "get up, it's almost one."

michael jolted awake with sudden urgency, staring at her with wide eyes. "shit, what? it's one o'clock already? fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

he untangled himself from devon and scrambled out of bed, grabbing his shirt off the floor. after last night's story telling session, devon had invited michael to stay the night. they hadn't fucked, but they had done a shit load of cuddling.

"my parents are going to skin me alive. they'll cut my balls off and sew them to my forehead."

devon giggled. "then you'll be a true dickhead."

michael shot her a glare. "too soon."

she helped michael gather his things before an idea popped into her mind. "well since you're gonna be a dickhead anyway, why don't you stay with me for a few more hours? i have to introduce you to someone."

"i don't know..." he said tentatively. "maybe going home earlier will make them hate me less? or possibly even spare me my balls?"

"or maybe you'll become a dickhead either way."

they became engaged in a staring contest, in which devon's face quickly morphed into the classic puppy dog face. "pwease, baby?"

"you did not just say that."

"oh, but i did."

michael groaned after a prolonged silence, finally giving in. "but only because you're cute."

devon clapped her hands in glee as she grabbed his hand, pulling him back into her room. she instructed him to wait on her bed while she retreated to the bathroom to get ready.

he took the chance to look at the many soccer trophies that were scattered around her room, including one that was carelessly tossed near the window for some reason. he picked it up to examine it, noticing the small engravings.

2010 DIVISION CHAMPIONS: GIRLS VARSITY SOCCER

varsity, huh? and division champs? michael used his fingers to count backwards, not being able to do the simple math in his head. devon had been a freshman when she had received this trophy.

a freshman on a winning varsity squad. not that bad.

just then, devon skipped back into the room, causing michael to drop the trophy in surprise.

"what were you looking at?" she wondered, crinkling her forehead in confusion. she tried peering around michael to get a glimpse at the object that he had managed to drop and probably break.

"why did you quit soccer?" he asked, ignoring her question.

devon stared at him in surprise before remorse flashed in her eyes. "i...i don't know," she stuttered.

"you were really good, though, weren't you? these trophies... not that many freshmen can make varsity, especially on a winning team. why would you give up on something that could've been your whole future?"

"it's complicated, okay? it's personal," she snapped, frowning.

michael sighed, coming closer to her. "i'm your boyfriend and i deserve to know. if you're worried that i'll judge you or something, i won't. i promise you that."

she thought for a moment as she sighed, wrapping her arms around michael. he copied her actions, hugging her to his chest. "what i never told you was that calum was my first real boyfriend," she said quietly, regret clear in her voice.

"but what does that have to do with you quitting soccer?"

her breaths became heavy. "you know how not all relationships are peachy and romantic like in the movies? and some were full of... fighting all the time and arguing? that was us. he...he would hit me then tell me he loved me after. he would scream at me and tell me i was a piece of shit then expect sex at the end of the day.

"and pretty soon it became worse and worse and i had bruises everywhere. he lowered my self esteem to a near zero, to a point where i told myself that i could never be good at anything, including soccer. that's why i quit, and that's why i broke up with him. he ruined my image of love, and that's how i became a sex addict. since i believed that love didn't exist, i thought boys were disposable."

michael kissed the top of devon's head as she cried into his chest, and at that moment he didn't care that she was staining his shirt with tears and snot. he was holding the girl that he truly loved and was broken. she was broken.

so he didn't talk. he didn't want to break the silence, because he knew that she wouldn't absorb much of what he said through her tears. instead he rubbed circles on her back and let her cry and planted kisses on her forehead because that's what you do for someone you love.

-

what did i just write

ok so basically school starts on wednesday and i don't want to go and i'm crying because i know i won't be able to write like at all and fuck

now i'm even sadder

have a great labor day and think of your home skillet while you get hella turnt!!!!!