Untaken Chances (Currently undergoing a Re-Write)

No Control

         It was two months after their wedding. They went on a honey moon in Greece- she always wanted to go to Greece. Harry was planning the honeymoon before he even has proposed. That's how confident he was in the fact that she would say yes. It was booked before they even had taken their trip to Paris- before she had even considered him to be her husband. It was as if she came back a whole new person- but her smile didn't change I knew that would never change. She still was shining bright, too, just with a tan. She was pretty tan, too. We decided to do a few shows, considering it had been months since we were on a stage. It felt like years. We decided on doing some shows in America, so we did. She was happy about that. She was glad to be closer to home- though she was. He was her home now, I remembered that every time her two rings hit the sun- or any light. I could practically see them in the dark.

                    We had hit Florida, and it had been hot. Hotter then I could remember it to ever be. I felt more alone than I ever had. Louis and Liam were off with their girls. Zayn was with Perry. I was all alone. Alone-but she hadn't let me think about it. We would go out and catch a movie just the two of us whenever Harry had tour stuff to do. It was nice. It had showed me even more how much I wanted her to be mine. How she would laugh at funny part in the movie. The laugh so much the same as to the first night that I laid eyes on her. How she would rest her head on my shoulder and loop her arm through mine, and I had to try and pretend that every where she touched me wasn't electric. We went to the movie theater that day, and she looped her arm through mine as we had walked through the entrance and stood in line to buy our tickets. I had cringed. I couldn't help it. It hurt so much not to be able to take her in my arms. It hurt too much to know that she wasn't mine. I tried to look as though nothing happened. I didn't want her to notice. But of course she had noticed. She noticied everything.

           "Niall, what's wrong? You haven't been acting yourself. Are you feeling okay?" She asked with concern on her face as she pulled me to a hault and turned me to face her, and place one of her dainty hands on my forehead acting as though she would be able to detect some disease that has taken over my body. She dropped her hand, finding nothing but a clamy forehead. I couldn't look her in the eyes, no matter how much she had stared at me trying to get me to confess. I knew if I had looked her in the eyes at a weak moment like that, everything would come spilling out. I couldn't take the chance.

          "I'm fine. I just turned on my ancle the wrong way. No biggie." I had told her. I remember how I could feel her eyes on me and I knew she didn't believe me. She could always tell when I was lying. That was the one thing I didn't like about her. It was like she was able to look into my brain and disregard the things I'm saying and fully know what I'm hiding. It's the worst thing that could happen, ecspecially at a time like that.

          "Why are you lying to me? Why can't you just tell me the truth? I thought we were closer then this, Niall."  She had said as her eyes had filled with slowly developing tears. I had never seen her cry nor did I want to start then. I didn;t want to be reason she was crying tears of sadness. The only tears I ever wanted to see coming from her eyes were those of joy. I didn't think I could take the ones of sadness.

          "It's nothing. It really isn't. I'm just not feeling well. Why don't we go watch the movie, and then we can go back to the hotel pool? It's hot today." I had said. I didn't think it was that convincing, but she had certainly backed down. We walked to the theater and took seats in the middle of the endless rows. Throughout the movie, she had kept her distance. She didn't rest her head on my shoulder or loop her arm through mine. She didn't even laugh her amazing laugh. She did nothing but keep her eyes on the screen. They had still been filled with tears. It hurt me that I wasn't able to tell her the truth. But I would rather hurt myself then hurt a friend which is exactly what I would have been doing to Harry if I let it out about my feelings. The fact that their now married made it hurt even more when I had  to swallow my words. When I had to keep it all in.  I remember feeling her and I drifting apart. Our friendship breaking. I wanted so much to at least keep that. But somethings we just have no control over.