Untaken Chances (Currently undergoing a Re-Write)

Flutter

         "Do you remember the night Harry asked you out? In that pizza place? Ha, I bet you do. I mean how could you forget that. I know I haven't. I remember how you spilled your drink. You looked embarrassed, but just laughed it off. I remember how your eyes were full of laughs, your amazing chocolate eyes. How your smile just lit up the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were like a piece of art that I just had to put on display for everyone to see. Well at least I wanted to. But I didn't get the chance. You see, Harry took my chance that night. The one chance I ever would get at havng you. I hid it well, my love for you. So well that no one suspected it. I always wished you knew how I felt. But when you have untaken chances, that's what they stay. I don't even know why I'm telling you this now. Maybe because there's not a way for you to tell me you don't feel the same. Maybe because in a way it's like I'm speaking aloud to myself. I'm still not sure. I just know that I needed to tell you this at some point, and this seemed like a safer choice. I just needed you to know that I love you. That I want you to be mine even though I know it won't happen. That you should be with me. That this is the last time I think I can bare seeing you. It hurts too much. I know you might wake up and not know where I am and I'm sorry for that. But this is how I can move on. Just know I love you. I love you and I always will." I had said and planted a kiss on her forehead. I saw her eyes flutter behind her eyelids and knew I couldn't be here when she woke up. If I saw those amazing eyes and bright smile, I knew I would never leave. But I had to. Don't judge me too hard. I hadn't gone to the hospital planning to only be there for a few minutes and leave. But if you were in my position you would do the same. Trust me. As I turned to go out the door, I saw Zayn standing there, staring at me. A bewildered, sad expression on his face.

         "How much did you hear?" I had asked and looked at the floor.

        "Enough. Why didn't you say something? You could have at least told me." Zayn had said as he took on a look of hurt.

        "I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't risk either of them finding out. You know how much that would hurt the band? Harry wouldn't want to sing with me let alone be in the same room as me. I couldn't take that chance Zayn. I just couldn't" I had said as my eyes began to blur with over a years worth of tears. Zayn had come forward and he hugged me as I cried.

        "I don't think you should leave her. I know how much it will hurt you to stay. But I also know how much it would hurt you to leave. Niall, it will hurt her too. She does love you. It might not be the way you want, but at this point, it is the best you will get. It would just kill her if you left ," Zayn had said with earnesty in his voice. I knew he was right. I also knew there was no way he would ever let me leave. We had gone back to the waiting room and did exactly what was meant to. We waited. Hours passed slowly and Zayn, Louis and I had done nothing but sit and wait. We only used our phones to text Harry, Liam and her parents updates. Other then that we were silent. After what seemed like forever, a doctor came to us and told us that she was waking up and it would be good if we went to see her. When we walked into her room, she was all smiles. She lit up the room. It hurt my heart.

        "Yay! People!" She had said in sing songy voice. We all went over and hugged her and I kissed her softly on the forehead. When I pulled back, she was staring at me with recognition in her eyes. I knew then, she knew everything. And nothing was going to be the same.