Nightmares of Beauty

Chapter 5

I leaned over the railing of the bridge, peering into the shallow water that seemed to go down forever. A sigh escaped my lips, but it sounded as if it was from a different person. For whatever reason, I was not satisfied with my appearance. I'd heard it was good to change your hair or dress style or whatever after a breakup or a bad event, but what do you do when you can't get your dead werewolf girlfriend out of your head?

Something about being around Rose reminded me of Alex. The way she tilted her head back and laughed, the easy way she walked, the way she flipped her hair. Even the way she sat to write, how she looked when she thought no one was watching. All of it made be think of Alex, and it wasn't because they shared any resemblance at all. They looked nothing alike, but their manner was so similar it hurt.

Physically. I was in pain, missing Alex and wondering about Rose. Suddenly, I let out a scream of frustration and punched the solid-brick rail of the bridge. It crumbled under my wrath, as I was sure no one would hear me. I was deep in the forest, on a bridge that hadn't been used in the past decade, over a stream that probably was only rarely seen by humans. The problem was that I was on Jaydn's territory, so there was a chance that one of her watchers had heard or seen me. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't care.

Nothing was going to keep me from being here, to being whatever I wanted, from making my clan proud that I was one of them. From proving that I was worth eevry bit of trouble anyone had ever had because of me. in seconds, the bridge was gone, reduced to a pile of splintered wood, broken bricks, and dust, most of which was quickly swept downstream. Before I could stop, I was howling, phrases of wolfsong that Alex had taught me. Patterns and tones that weren't all that different from Morse code. I sang, and the wolves joined me, the real wolves. Wolfsong was the prettiest language, even counting my own first language, Idrish. My voice, combined with the howls of the wolves that claimed that part of the forest as their own, sang for Alex, for the lost soul of my love, for a fallen friend and taken companion.

I loved wolves. Just not all of them.