Shattered Sunrise

Swimming in Doubts

             **slightly edited recently:)**

                         *Seth's PVO*
Jacob is making a big mistake. How can killing an innocent baby be the right thing to do?

Bella has made her choice clear. This child is important enough for her to risk everything. She doesn't know that she'll be able to live through the birth, she chooses believes she will.

If Jacob murders that child then what meaning did Bella's life even serve? He can not call himself a protecter if he is willing to do this with no proof the child is meant to do any harm.

The child deserves a chance to live. He deserves a chance at being good. He's going to have that chance, too. I will give the child he deserves.

It seems that I might be the only real shot this special new life form has at a staying alive while keeping all the family members that love him from sacrificing their own.

I'm going to need a very good plan to even have a chance for this to work, though.

I can't be near Jacob until the last minute. If he orders me to stay out of the way, then everything is over before it even starts. If I stay out of his way until he's already going for the baby.. then maybe he would listen to me before making an alpha order.

He did say he wouldn't order me or my sister around when we joined. I guess this will be the ultimate test.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, I can sneak my away around everyone. I would have hide until exactly the right time.

I have to get to the baby before Jacob has the chance. If I'm holding the child, I'll have at least a minute to spit out what I need him to hear. If I say something that hits a big enough nerve, then I'll probably buy myself even more time to reason with him.

I'll need a place to hide in the house until time for action, and I can practice what to say there. He wouldn't go as far as to hurt me, would he?

Jacob couldn't hurt me, I'm supposed to be his number two. I've always looked up to him, and I don't know if I could ever look at him the same if he was to go through with this. I'll have to have faith that he will put his grief, and anger, aside to realize what he thinks he's capable of.

I can hold the child, protect him, while reasoning with Jacob. I can make him see the innocence's a baby carries. I can remind him that he was such a big part of the child's mother's life that she chose the name EJ, as in Edward Jacob.

Then if that still isn't enough, maybe Leah will protect me no matter what I've done. No, I won't doubt my sister. I know she would protect me. I know because I would do it for her. She may seem bitter at times, but my sister has always been there for me. She will always trust me first, she's told me so before. Maybe not in exact words, but the meaning was there.

Also, I could never see Leah hurting a child, or letting one be hurt. No matter who that child belongs to. One of the hardest things Leah had to cope with after phasing was giving up her choice in creating her own family one day. I don't want Leah involved in anything she doesn't have to be, though.

I truly believe I will only need a minute to either convince Jacob that the baby is just that, a baby, or find some other means of protection for the child.

He will only be a harmless baby, no matter what he is made from. I just can't see Jacob looking at a baby's face, and still choosing to bring him harm. If he is capable of that, then I want nothing to do with him. I would never be able to face him.

We are protecters, not murderers. He just can't actually justify murdering a child that has never seen evil, much less be evil. If things don't work out I can't just run away with the child, though.

If I was to go in human form, I'll never make it. If I phase Jacob will have a direct line to my thoughts. If I could change packs, I'd be in the same position. I have no back up plan. There is nothing more I can do, and that scares the hell out of me.

But Jacob is going to hear me out, and come to his senses. I believe he is still good. I couldn't have misjudged him by this much. It would mean everyone had misjudged him, and we can't all be wrong. Can we?

He just needs a reminder of who we are, of what we do. That's all, he is just a grief stricken man right now. We are protecters, and that protection extends to anyone worthy. This baby is worthy. I can feel that I'm right about this.

I just can't figure out why Jacob doesn't feel it, too. Regardless of any of that, I have to be as serious as possible about this. I'm dealing with a critical situation, and I have one shot at a resolution. That one shot also extends to helping my best friend not do something he'll regret for the rest of his eternity.

Jesus, I'm in over my head here just swimming in doubts. This plan makes me nervous, there are too many maybes. Too many things need to fall into place in order for this to work, but it's all I've got. It has to work. I feel my hands subconsciously go towards my scalp, and tug at the roots. I'm not suppose to be in charge of these things.

How do you feel so far? Who's ready for part two? Please, comment and vote! All opinions are welcomed!