Hidden Whispers

p r o l o g u e

10th August.

Who am I? Am I important enough to even exist? Do my opinions matter? Or is it just a waste of precious time?

Looking up at the sky yesterday, during our little family campfire, all I was greeted by was a dark sheet of an endless void, and in the middle, a big white ball of fur looked back at me with round eyes and a small round mouth. Am I as strange as that ball? Lonely, and an utter misfit?

The stars glowed dimly around the white, and it took me a while to adjust myself to the soft moonlight. Is this what heaven feels like? Solitude, peace, and steel strings of music?

Sometimes, I think of running away. Because the freedom that my heart needs seems hell bound. I looked around me and all I saw were happy faces, and crescent eyes. Emma sat beside me and her fingers stroked through the creases of my hair as I leaned into her arm. The fire that we surrounded flickered, softly warming my cheeks a dull pink. The night was quite peaceful, with the gentle warmth of the fire, the comforting arms of my elder sister and the open dark night sky above us. The sky is everywhere, isnt it? Enveloping us ever so gently, loving us even more so.

My eyes fluttered open at the mesmerizing voice of Nick. He started singing a lullaby of the wind and the sky. Nick used to cover Elvis brilliantly, and his lucid voice blew through us. Mom smiled adoringly as he strummed his guitar and kept on singing. My eyes slowly started shutting, as I drifted off to another dimension, a newfound reality filled up with thoughts that can never be true.

Times like these are what I live for. the beauty of togetherness and the unity of each one of us is what makes me crave for another chance in life.

I'm not happy and sometimes I feel like I'm complaining helplessly about my life instead of actually looking forward to what's going to happen in the future. Don't we make our own futures? The way things are progressing, I might end up being broke and lonely by the time I'm twenty five.

The thought of a happy life with nothing to remember and a happy history excites me undeniably.

But that night still horrifies me to the greatest extent and makes me gag. That night still haunts me endlessly. That night changed my life completely and turned it upside down, and dead. Now I am shattered.