Hidden Whispers

c l a i r e // 5

14th May

The day was so warm, I started sweating profusely. It was crazy hot. The tanktop that I was wearing was literally wet.

Brianna made her way towards me with a bowl of sundae. "Want some?" She offered, licking it. I was enjoying her company a lot. I needed someone to be with me, especially when I was engrossed with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. She was my Mon. And I was her Rach.

Brianna and I met at kindergarten. She was this crazy kid, and I was a quiet girl. We didn't exactly start bonding; she saved me.

Robin, once poured all of her cake over me. She merely did that because I tripped and fell over her bag and said sorry. She thought that I disregarded it.

But Brianna Blackwood, the new kid on the block, with small round hands took a piece of the same cake which Robin brought to school and then threw it on her face.

Bri was a lifesaver ever since. And we kind of came closer throughout these years. Now, she is this person whom I can't live without.

She popped down beside me and then put some of the ice cream all over my face. I poured into giggles.

"Guess what?" Bri asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Hm?" I asked, "Dylan asked you out?"

"Yes!!" She started dancing around, her hands flying in the air. I smiled softly, but inside I was hurting.

As I came back to my house and into my room, I fell into my bed. There was this sadness that enveloped me into feeling bad and hoping that they wouldn't work out.

It has been happening for a few days, and I might be crazy to think that I like her like that because I don't. I just want to be her first priority. That's all.

I don't want her to choose anyone over me. Because I want her attention solely.

I might be demanding and irrational but she matters to me the most. It scares me how attached I am to her. I shouldn't be.

But when I'm around her, my heart beats faster than anything. I feel like I'm on top of the world.

It's because she is my bestest friend. Maybe.

My mind drifted off to a month ago. It still pains me as to what she had to go through.

Bri and I were chilling at her studio, when her father came in. Bri was an excellent dancer. Her godly curves at all the right places and sweet bumps here and there perfectly matched her agile and strong dance postures. The way she moved was magical. It was as if nothing else mattered, only her dance and the music playing.

Brianna was forming her latest choreography while I was taking down notes, when her dad came in.

"Claire, mind if I take Brianna aside for 2 seconds?" He asked sweetly.

"No problem..uh, but she and I were kind of getting prepared for the School Talent Hunt," I lied.

I heard what her dad... stepdad to be exact, did to her. For mere reasons, he physically hurt her. And I did not know the meaning of "physically hurt" until that day.

What I witnessed will scar me for eternity. But Brianna is such a strong girl. She goes through such pain, but still manages to laugh.

"It's okay, Claire. I'm coming," Brianna looked at me with tired eyes and then looked at her stepdad. The way she glared at him sent shivers. And then, I noticed something unnatural.

Her stepdad's eyes trailed over all of her body. It was fucking crazy. The way he looked at her, like an animal, scared me. But Bri wasn't a scaredy cat.

She walked off smartly, leaving me alone in the studio. She knew what I would do, and maybe she wanted me to witness it, as we told each other everything. Maybe it was also because it would be of perfect explanation as to why she did the next thing.

I followed them. Obviously.

All the slaps and the whips, all of the tears and the pain in her expressions made me want to cry my heart out. From the peak of the door, I could see that monster tearing off her clothes and going inside... ugh. It pains me to even talk about it.

I could not call the police that day. Bri made me promise that whatever happens, nothing would be spread to the outsiders. And I kept it.

The next day, Mr. Blackwood wad found dead. They think he drowned on the bathtub, hitting his head.

We did not talk about how this happened or why he drowned because both of us knew exactly what occurred. And that was when I realized that we are officially in this little bond.

Both of us were happy about his death. Both of us let each other inside our walls, and embrace our pain and flaws. And, both of us shared everything with each other. We were honest and soul naked in front of each other.

But as things are progressing, I'm scared. I don't want to lose her.

It's always about her in this diary, isn't it?

Well what can I say? She means a lot. And she is indeed the strongest woman I've come across.

My life, however, seems kind of chill. With my siblings and parents, I might be unloved but crazily normal. And maybe I found the patience and the love in her, something I never got my entire life. It drew me closer to her.

I don't want her get hurt. And I just want her to be safe. I'll save her. But how? I'm fragile and weak.

How can I ever explain what I feel for her? Is this normal, is this how best-friendship feels? Maybe.

But I can't live without her. She is the best damn thing that came into my life. And it's scary. Because she's perfect. And I'm not.

I think I am in love with you, Brianna Blackwood.

_______________

♡