he still couldn't believe how he lost her so quickly.
TW: sensitive topics such as drugs
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everything felt cold for him, the entire house had been drowning in its own silence, for the past week or even more, it has been like this. he has no idea on what to do with himself asides from immersing into the small pills, the rolled papers, the intoxicating powders he would always be hiding from her. the things that caused her to go away, to leave him there, suffering and slowly killing himself.
his eyes focus on one spot on the white, dirty corner of the wall, the one that was by now cracked and ripping off at the seems, in anyone's sight, they would've seen nothing but how ugly the wall was, but in his eyes, he could see her.
he was staring at how she was sat in that corner, wearing his blouse that had the first buttons undone, on her lap, was a camera, and her fingers pressed down on the buttons as she went through pictures while smiling. the smile he missed so much he almost felt himself going crazy. to which he was.
"yukhei, what do you think I start a gallery of the pictures I take? do you think it would work?" she giggles before looking up, their gazes meeting and her eyes soften when staring into his. "I think it would be a good idea, imagine if we combine my pictures with your paintings? don't you think we should do that?"
she put her camera aside and settles her hand on her lap. "... why are you so quiet? you're usually like that?"
"... you're not real." he says, looking down to his own lap. "I know you're not real, please stop."
but the illusion of her frowns. "yukhei, what's the matter?" she crawls toward him, cupping his face in her hands. "I don't get what you mean." and funnily, enough he had even then not felt her touch.
he buries his face in between his knees, hiding from her. it pained him too much. it's almost like she is haunting him whenever he tries to bury his sorrows in his own surrealistic world. "lisa, please, please, go away."
"yukhei? but I need you." she says, hugging him as tightly as she could. "please, don't do this to me. I love you."
"no, you don't." he starts to cry, shaking his head in denial. "you don't love me, you don't love me, leave me, lisa, stop!" his breathing started to become irregular as he grips his own chest. everything became blurry, and all he could do was listen to her also start to cry, tears bursting out of anger as he stands up.
fists clenching by her sides, she looked different, she glares at him through her glassy eyes. "I told you to stop it! why don't you listen to me?!" she starts to fist her own hair. "I try and try and try, but you never listen, I told you to stop using these - drugs! why do you keep doing this to yourself?!" she falls back onto her knees, hands also gripping her own heart. "if you really love me... you would've stopped."
"it's not easy." he sobs, rocking his own body back and forth.
"I know it's not easy, baby, I know it's not, we've both been there at different times, I know how bad this is for you, and I know you're strong enough to be able to stop it." but, her expression suddenly fell. "you hurt me too much, you have no idea how, every time you drown yourself in these, do you have any idea what you're doing?!"
