Worth Living For

Chapter 13

~Frank’s P.O.V.~

I woke up to the noises of a coffee maker brewing. I opened my eyes to see Gerard looking out the only window in the room, one hand resting on the table with the coffee maker and the other hand holding a lit cigarette. He had no shirt on, and I watched as his muscles in his back moved as he inhaled his cigarette. His hair was a mess and his pants were hanging loosely off his waist. I watched him for a while as he finished his cigarette, and tried to act like I was just waking up when he turned to face me.

“Good morning.” he smiled, tossing his finished cigarette out the window and shutting the glass.

“How long have you been up?” I asked, sitting up on the bed and stretching my arms.

“A few hours.” he answered, sitting on the floor and starting to look through his suitcase.

“That long?”

“I’m a morning person.” he shrugged, finding what he was looking for and standing up. He sat down on the bed next to me, laying his sketch book and pack of pencils on his lap.

I nodded, getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom. You look like shit, I told myself as I stood in front of the mirror. Fix yourself before he realizes how ugly you actually are and leaves.

I adjusted myself, wishing that I had left my pants in here so I could put them back on. I smoothed out any hair that had been sticking up, then walked out of the bathroom, gesturing to Gerard that it was all his. He declined, muttering something about having already used it.

I sat down next to him on the bed, locking my eyes on the TV that had been turned on already. We waited for the coffee to be ready, and when it was, Gerard poured us both cups of it.

He waited until we were finished with our coffee to speak again.

“The funeral is today, isn’t it?” he asked, setting his empty cup on the table.

I nodded.

“What time?”

“One to five.”

He nodded. “Do you think that we should start getting ready, then?”

I glanced over at him. “What time is it?”

“Almost twelve thirty.” he shrugged. “Where’s it at?”

“On the other side of L.A.” I sighed, getting up out of bed. “Shit, I can’t believe I slept that long. I’m not even gonna bother taking a shower...we’d probably barely make it if I did. You taking one?”

He shook his head. “Not if it’ll make us late.”

He followed my motions; getting out of bed and walking over to our suitcases. I pulled out a blazer, collared shirt, and dark jeans, and walked back into the bathroom to change. When I came out of the bathroom, Gerard was already dressed. He wore a dark blue blazer, black collared shirt, and pants that matched the blazer. He smiled at me when he saw me.

We finished getting ready, and left the hotel. We told the lady at the front desk that we left our things in the room because we’d be staying another night, but we probably wouldn’t be.

We waited outside for a taxi, and climbed inside the one that finally stopped for us. I told the driver the address of the funeral home, and we made our way to the other side of town.

I found myself fidgeting every time I saw or felt Gerard move even slightly. I was nervous. Why? I wasn’t sure. Get yourself together, Frank. He’ll leave you when he realizes that you don’t know shit about being in a relationship. The thing was, we weren’t even in a relationship. Were we? No. We couldn’t be. We’ve hugged a few times, I’ve slept on his shoulder twice, he kissed me on the cheek once. More than that had to happen before we could consider ourselves in a relationship.