Worth Living For

Chapter 23

After that night, I spent every second I had with Gerard trying to memorize each word he spoke, each move he made. I had become haunted with the fear of losing him, for some reason. And having the burden of that fear, I wanted to remember every single moment that I had with him.

I had brought it up to him after I had had some time to think of the subject myself. His face had dropped, opening and closing his mouth for a few minutes before words actually escaped his lips.

"You won't lose me, Frank. I'll always be here with you, forever. Don't be afraid of loss, especially when it comes to me, because ill never leave you."

His words had helped a little, but when it came to fearing something, I feared it forever. I had never gotten over a fear, even ones that I had when I was a child. His words helped me push the idea to the back of my mind, though, which was the best attempt I could do at overcoming it.

The morning of my first day at the cafe, Gerard had woken me up with a kiss. "I wanted to make you coffee, but I figured that you'd be around it all day, so I decided against it." He whispered, his breath tickling my nose. I smiled in response, and he pulled me out of bed with him.

I took a quick shower, walking into the bedroom to get dressed to find that Gerard had picked out my clothes and laid them nicely on the bed.

"I hope you're not trying to play the role of my mother, because that would be one odd relationship." I called, hearing him laugh loudly from the kitchen.

"As if our relationship isn't odd enough!" He replied, making me chuckle before climbing into the clothes he had lain out.

After a long kiss in the doorway and a 'have a wonderful day!' I was off.

The same woman that had been behind the counter the night before greeted me as I entered the cafe with a friendly smile.

"Welcome to the family!" she said excitedly, making everyone that was the in cafe look up at her, then over at the doorway where I was standing. I felt my cheeks flush, and I made my way to the counter where she was, trying not to make eye contact with any of the people that were staring at me.

"Come on in the back, I'll introduce you to everyone." She said, holding the small half-door open and leading me behind the counter, then through the door and into a room I didn't even know existed.

"Hey!" she said loudly, clapping her hands together three times to get everyone's attention. Everyone's heads snapped up and over to the door where we were standing. "This is the new employee Frank. Be nice." she said to them.

They all grinned at me, murmuring 'welcome's before turning their attention back to their work, which was cooking all of the pastries. The waitress (who I still didn't know the name of) turned to me and smiled.

"Well, that's everyone!"

"Isn't there, like, a manager or someone?" I asked quietly as we exited the back room and stood together behind the counter.

She laughed. "I'm the manager, Frank. My family owns the place."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I muttered, looking down at my shoes.

"No, no, it's okay! I understand why you would think I wasn't. The manager usually doesn't work with everyone else. But I wouldn't feel like the manager if I didn't work. I wouldn't feel like I deserve the position if I didn't work."

I nodded, agreeing with her.

"Anyway, you're going to be working up front at the counter with me. I hope you know how to make coffee!"

~

"How was your day?" Gerard asked immediately as I entered the house.

I cringed, pulling a face. "That phrase is so normal and...I've just never really liked it."

He frowned. "Oh."

"But since you asked," I continued, trying to cheer him back up. "my day was wonderful. I love my new job."

"Even more than the last!" he asked, sitting on the couch and patting the spot next to him.

"Of course not," I took the seat next to him. "That's how I met you, and it will always be my favorite job, my favorite place."

He smiled, pleased with my response. "But you enjoy the coffee shop, right?"

"Yes," I grinned. "Everyone is very nice. And plus; I get to small my favorite scent all day and drink free coffee whenever is like. And then, I get to come home to you and my art. It can't get anymore perfect than this." I kissed the of his nose, grinning as he pulled the face he always did when I kiss him there, then stood up from the couch. "Speaking of my art - I've been deprives lately. Join me?" I held out my hand to him.

He smiled, intertwining his fingers with mine and walking to his art room with me. We split ways then, him going toward the paints and me heading for the guitar

I set it on my lap and started to strum things as I came up with them, before getting bored of it and looking around the room for something else. My eyes rested on the camera that were hung on coat hooks, and I practically flew across the room toward them.

I grabbed my favorite camera, making sure it had film, and sat back down on the stool I had been playing guitar on.

I grinned as I laid eyes on Gerard, who was transfixed in his art. Pulling the camera up to my face, I snapped a picture of him, dropping the camera back into my lap before he noticed.

I took pictures of some other things around the room; in the messy, unorganized state they were in. Both Gerard and I agreed that we felt a lot more comfortable with the room in chaos.

I used up the roll of film, by which time Gerard was nearly finished with his painting. I hung my camera back on the hook and made my way over to the easel where Gerard was.

I watched quietly over his shoulder as he added the final touches to the paint-covered canvas. I had to take a few steps back to give him room to look at the piece from a distance. He smiled, and I assumed that he had declared in his mind that he was finished. He set the paints and brushes down and turned to me, cupping my face in his hands and colliding his lips with mine.

"You inspire me." He whispered against my mouth before kissing me again.

For a few minutes, the only noise in the whole house was the smacking of our lips. Soon, things started to heat up, and Gerard led us to the couch. I laid down on the couch, and he climbed on top of me, without ever breaking our kiss. His hands never made it past my shoulders, and even though a certain part of my lower region wanted otherwise, I never encouraged him to go further. I didnt think I was ready for that kind of relationship, not yet.

Gerard seemed to have been able to read my mind, because he never crossed the boundaries. His fingers ran through my hair and caressed my face, and even though my hands would run up and down his back and his sides, he never touched my body lower than my neck.

After a while, Gerard broke the kiss, rolling onto his side next to me. The couch was small width-wise, so our bodies were pressed together. He were facing each other, but we were no longer kissing. We looked at each other for a while, and once it started to feel sort of awkward, Gerard kissed my forehead and crawled over me and off the couch, murmuring something about coffee.

I sat up on the couch, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I didn't sit in this position in anger or distress, though. I was trying to figure out what I had done to deserve all of this fucking happiness.