to build a home; cth + afi

V

chapter VI; calum

to wake up in his dark, quite, cold and perfectly clean bedroom was simultaneously the best and worst thing he could have experience this morning. or rather this afternoon seeing as his alarm clock read the time 12:36. he slowly twisted and turned his way until he was laying facing his empty wall and blinking in sync with his alarm clock.

he then noticed the ibuprofen pills and the glass of ice water laying on his bedside table. all of these were the tell tale signs that he was here. so as calum laid there, staring at the pills, he decided that there is no use just looking at them. he had a dull throbbing in his head so he sat up against his cold, dark mahogany headboard and swallowed the pills dry. until they got stuck in his throat and he then forced down a few gulps of water to dislodge them.

it wasn't until the first sip however, did he realize how dry his throat, mouth and nose felt. the insides of his body felt like they were cracking with every swallow. it wasn't until the glass was empty did he feel any significant improvement in this throat. he sat his glass back on his bedside table and sank his head into is hands. he then slowly rubbed his temples in an attempt into making his headache go away.

this was the worst part of the morning. he was trying to attempt to put all of the pieces of his night together. he recalled little bits here and there but it was mostly black or heavily blurred.

he was so upset with himself. better yet, he was disappointed in himself. he didn't mean to lose control. it just happened. it felt too good to say no.

however, now he's deeply regretting his choices. he has no idea what he did, who he talked to, what he said, what he posted, or what was posted about him.

he didn't dare look at his phone though. that always made things worse. if there were headlines about him, he would deal with it later. he knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to take care of anything right now. so for now, he just sat in his bed with his legs tucked into his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. he let his head hang low to relive tension in his back, and just took deep breathes. one after another until he was ready to lull himself back to sleep. however, he didn't get the chance because before he could curl up into his covers a voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"i'm proud of you for drinking your water. and for taking your medicine" ashton says hushed, leaning against the doorway of calum's bedroom.

calum is startled by the voice and he when he knows it's ashton, he starts to retreat into his covers as ashton starts making his way over. calum can't deal with this right now. he doesn't want to talk about last night. he just can't.

"no, no, no, no, no absolutely not. you do not get to skip out on this conversation cal." ashton's rasps as he pulls the duvet of calum. he is so upset with calum for his behavior last night and he wasn't going to let his actions go undiscussed.

but what ashton doesn't know is that calum's head is spinning and it's only getting worse the closer ashton gets. his mind is racing too fast, he can't seem to inhale enough oxygen to satisfy his lungs and that's when everything changes.

ashton's demeanor instantly shifts and his body is rushing to hold calum while the younger male is heaving in his arms. calum's sharp breaths are met with the calmness of ashton's soothing words, whispering small phrases of kindness and encouragement hoping to get calum to calm down just a little.

"i'm so sorry, so so so sorry, i did not mean to scare you like that" ashton whispers into calum's ear as he gently runs his hands down the crying boy's back. "i didn't think think you would turn into this today, i was expecting the other you. but that's okay, we can talk like this right?" the blonde inquires

calum immediately forgives ashton for the harsh accusation, because the version of calum is not one that is seen very often. so it makes perfect sense to the younger boy that ashton would approach him like that. he realizes he still hasn't answered ash yet, and that he's patiently waiting for his response. but the only thing calum is capable of thinking of right now is yes, but yet he can't seem to say the word, so he just nods into ashton's tear stained shoulder with a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart.

"okay, that's alright we can just talk. we don't have to figure anything out right now." ashton gently tells calum "but can you first tell me what happened last night? do you remember any of it by chance?

calum really tried hard to talk but with his dry throat and closed chest it makes it really hard to do anything other than focus on breathing so he settles for the next best thing. he takes his phone off his night stand, unplugging it after ashton so kindly charged it last night. he was met with so many texts and pictures but he instead focused on the task at hand.

he went into the notes app on his phone and began typing. he and ashton used to do this all the time when they were younger because it was always easier to type something out than to say it out loud.

and so he began. typing away while ashton watched from beside him telling his story in the best way he knew how.

okay kids pls be proud of me for getting an decently long chapter in

this is actually probably one of my favorite ones i've written so far

so thanks y'all please enjoy

love ya lots x