it's just kissing | m.j ✓

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE.

The math is right there. Someone like he can't be falling for some like Jimin. Jimin was too good. Too honest. Too earnest and too loyal. For the better part of his life, Namjoon had trampled over and defiled the very concept of commitment or human connection which exceeds anything more than fulfilling each others' carnal desires. At this point, after so many years of having detached himself from the idea of actually being with someone for more than a single night of mindless sex, he doesn't even know if he's capable of anything more platonic.

What if this is all just his mind and body reacting to a new "target" which has somehow managed to pique his interest? What if he ends up hurting Jimin because his body begins to seek someone else? Really, is there any way of telling? Namjoon wants to almost laugh at the irony. He's never truly worried about hurting anyone's feelings, having told himself countless times that all those men knew exactly what they were getting themselves into...but now he's worried about hurting Jimin's feelings when Jimin probably doesn't think of him as more than his employer.

But the real irony is that he's worrying about falling for Jimin when he's already fallen for the man.

He can deny it all he wants, but Namjoon doesn't bother. The fact that he's even asking himself these questions can only mean one thing.

He's managed to utterly, oh-so-completely fuck himself over.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Jimin asks softly, placing the back of his hand against Namjoon's forehead, and the bar owner almost jumps at the sudden contact. "I don't think you're running a fever...should I go get someone?" he continues, genuine concern evident on his features. Namjoon raises his own arm and wraps his long fingers around the other man's wrist, almost marveling at how small and thin it feels in his own hand.

"...Boss?"

"I'm fine," Namjoon answers softly before gently guiding Jimin's hand back down and releasing it. Seokjin had always teased him, saying that he will one day find that special someone and pay for all the heartbreaks he's caused. He had brushed it off with a roll of his eyes, telling his friend that he'd never be stupid enough to fall for someone. Afterall, relationships were just a waste of time, and everyone was too predictable for him to pay close attention to.

Namjoon drops his gaze and smiles ironically to himself. God, he's really done it. He can almost hear Seokjin laughing maniacally in his head, his tone mocking as he tells him "I told you so!"

Of all the people he could've possibly fallen for, he has to go for the one man who's off limits. The one man who is...in fact, too good for him.

"Would you like to sleep? I can go to another room if-" Jimin continues, suddenly looking worried as he takes in the other man's strained expression. Namjoon looks up and opens his mouth, pushing the painful thoughts to the back of his head for Jimin's sake.

"Jimin."

"..Yeah?"

"You should be worried about yourself too, not just me. You need a good rest just as much as I do," Namjoon says, unable to take Jimin trying to take care of him anymore. He doesn't need any more reminder of how selfless and generous Jimin is.

"Oh. Umm...I'm really fine though," Jimin murmurs back, suddenly looking quite sleepy as he blinks owlishly at the other man.

"Would you like to sleep?" Namjoon asks quietly, getting ready to vacate the room to give the other space to sleep. However, Jimin reaches out and wraps his fingers tightly around the blanket wrapped around the bar owners' torso. Namjoon stops and watches the smaller man, his eyes questioning.