it's just kissing | m.j ✓

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN.

Namjoon had been very ready to continue on with the same act he's been putting on for some time now. In fact, he's gotten so used to it, it's become sort of a second nature for him. Just smile back when Jimin says something, nod every once in a while, and pretend it doesn't hurt at all every time Jimin mentions Mingyu.

Which is does a lot.

Namjoon isn't blind to how much happier Jimin becomes when he talks about the little dates they go on. This is definitely different from the time with Jaebum. Back then, Jimin seemed a little but more on edgy. More nervous. Definitely more unsure about both himself and the prospect of dating the man. But now, things were much more natural.

From what Jimin tells him and everyone else, this Kim Mingyu guy is a great guy. They go to normal dates to normal places. They watch movies together. Grab dinner together. Always texting each other during breaks. And from what everyone else tells him, he's also ridiculously good-looking. Taehyung won't shut up about it, and Namjoon chooses to ignore it.

So back to his point, Namjoon had been very ready to keep whatever it is boiling inside him nicely swept under the rug. Smile, nod and pretend. He could do that until his own feelings grow tired of his inactivity and move on.

But no.

He now finds himself running away and hiding from Jimin like some pathetic coward he'd normally hate. When he sees Jimin approaching him with his eyes twinkling and his cheeks tinged pink, ready to share stories of another exciting date, Namjoon finds himself walking the other way, thanking his long legs for being able to carry him away from the smaller man as quickly as possible. He finds himself cooped up in his office for longer hours than usual, tapping away furiously at his laptop or burying himself in filework that doesn't need second reading.

He knows he's being sad. He's perfectly aware of the fact that this is not who he is, yet he can't stop. When Jimin asks if he can come over, Namjoon lies and says that he's busy. He goes through all sorts of excuses, from meeting other people (when he's in fact just moping in his own bedroom) or feeling sick (when he's in fact again, just moping in his own bedroom). He's not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that Jimin doesn't suspect a thing and sends him texts like "oh ok, maybe next time" or "I hope you feel better soon!"

He had promised Jimin to help him with the date, but he finds it impossible to bring himself to do so. Plus, from what Taehyung and Seokjin tell him, Jimin is doing perfectly fine without his help, and he's wondering if this is when he starts regretting all the advice he's ever given Jimin.

Honestly, he doesn't want to be an asshole about it. He's prided himself in maintaining his status as a decent human being even when the entire world seemed to be against him. Yet a smaller, pettier, and much more vocal part of him is yelling at him for letting this happen by giving Jimin all that advice in the first place.

Yet, at the end of the day, he likes that Jimin is a lot more confident and radiant now. The smaller man is more himself, and he really can't bring himself to feel bitter about it.

Jin and Hoseok are the first ones to take notice of Namjoon's blatant hiding and running away, and while they do poke fun at him for a couple of days, they begin to understand the severity of the situation. They eventually take pity on the bar owner and do their best to either steer conversations clear of the Mingyu-Jimin date stories or distract Jimin when the smaller man tries to approach the boss man.