it's just kissing | m.j ✓

CHAPTER FIFTY TWO.

Namjoon massages a particularly tight spot on his neck as he makes his way downstairs to check up on the bar. Things have been relatively peaceful following the last two parties, which gave him a bit of time to continue to come up with ideas for renovation. Yet, he hasn't been getting very far with the brainstorming, especially when he finds himself constantly distracted by the conversation he had with Jimin during Wonho's welcome back party.

He hadn't expected Jimin to ever ask about him and Wonho. Didn't expect the man to even pick up that the two shared a history. Afterall, there's no way of Jimin knowing about his past relationship with Wonho, given that no one from Bulletproof would ever relay that information to anyone else. It wasn't so much that he had been actively trying to hide it. He's not ashamed of what he and Wonho had. If anything, he'll proudly admit that Lee Wonho still holds a very special place in his life.

Yet when Jimin asked, it had caught him off guard. Partly because he had assumed that Jimin's too busy with his own relationship to care, and partly because he didn't think Jimin would venture to ask. But Jimin did, and Namjoon had answered honestly. And it had felt strange to finally admit to someone that he's not in love with Lee Wonho anymore, mostly because it had been the first time in his life that he'd managed to convince himself as well.

In all honestly, seeing Wonho again had kept him up that night. They had ended things amicably. In the most mature way that could muster given their circumstances. But the few months following the man's departure had destroyed him. Left him hollow, because Wonho was the one person he had let himself give his everything to. He trusted Wonho, and the man had accepted all his imperfections with a smile and open arms.

It wasn't love at first sight. Wonho was beautiful, but Namjoon had slowly fallen in love with the man's gentle spirit. Namjoon had a bit of a rebellious streak in him back then. Despite his constant efforts to come in terms with everything that's happened in his life, he had still resented the rest of society for shunning him. For making him build a wall around him to protect himself.

But Wonho was different. He wasn't capable of hate, and Namjoon was naturally drawn to the light that was Lee Wonho. They started off as friends. Namjoon learned to trust people outside of just Seokjin and the few people working at Bulletproof, and as time went by, he was in love.

He had been the first to confess, and Wonho had burst into tears that day. Wonho could have lied to him. Acted in a way that would have Namjoon just give up and turn around, but Wonho wasn't capable of deceiving anyone. So Wonho had been honest with him. Told him that he has no intention of settling down with a man. That his family came first and that he can't disappoint his parents. That he's already made up his mind to marry a woman who will understand him and carry on his family name.

And despite the anger and confusion, Namjoon understood. Not everyone was like him. Knowing Wonho's past, he knows that the man would willingly give up his own happiness to keep his parents happy. Wonho had apologized, and Namjoon had told him that there is nothing he should be apologizing for.

And Namjoon had taken a leap of faith. Told Wonho that he's willing to stay for as long as Wonho will have him. Wonho had been quite vehement in his rejection, arguing that there is no way that he's going to put Namjoon in that situation. But Namjoon was in love for the first time in his life and had fought for it.

In the end, the two jumped into a relationship that had an expiration date. Tick tock, tick tock. Time had always counted down for them, but neither of them cared. Namjoon loved Wonho. Loved seeing the man smile in the morning. Loved the way he pretended to not be crying when they watched a sad movie together. Loved the way he brightened up every time Namjoon told him how beautiful he is.