it's just kissing | m.j ✓

CHAPTER FIFTY THREE.

By the time Jimin opens his eyes again, it's nearing dinner time, and he's not at all surprised. He had watched the sun come up. Let sunlight seep through his curtains as he lied wide awake in bed, curled up in his blanket in hopes of seeking some kind of comfort from the piece of fabric wrapped around him.

What started off as too many emotions assaulting him slowly dissipated into a sense of detachment as the fight continued to replay in his head over and over again. It was such an ugly fight. Had stemmed from something so ugly and then spiraled into something just as horrid.

Now that he's gotten some sleep, he's able to pick at his own emotions and thoughts with more clarity. And he's surprised to find that there is still anger lingering in his system. Not because of what Mingyu's said to him, but because what his friends and he had said about Namjoon. The nasty words still make his gut wrench, knowing that they were directed at Namjoon.

Jimin reaches for his phone again. He knows he has missed calls and unread texts from Mingyu, and from the sheer number of them, Jimin gets a feeling that it might be something akin to an explanation for his behavior or an apology. Yet he can't bring himself to read any of it as he remains in bed, unable to will himself to crawl out of it.

Minutes pass. And it's a full 42 minutes later that Jimin finally opens up the texts.

It starts of with a [Jimin Im so sorry. I fucked up] and Jimin begins to gnaw at his lower lip as he lets his eyes move to the next line.

[I know its all going to sound like an excuse but I wanted to explain]

[Ive been paranoid about u spending so much time with kim namjoon]

[Bc ppl cant seem to stop talking about him]

[Like everyones always talking about how they want him]

[And I know you don't like Kim Namjoon that way]

[So im sorry for making such an accusation. I shouldnt have done that]

[And im so sorry about what I said about him and what my friends said]

[Ur right. I shouldnt have said all those things about him]

[I just got so frustrated I fucked up. Im sorry]

[Please text or call me when u read this]

Jimin can feel the sincerity of the apology, and he wants to accept it, fully understanding where Mingyu's coming from. He's familiar with what insecurity can do to people. He himself has been a victim for a very long time, so he can't bring himself to readily push the blame entire onto Mingyu. Afterall, it's Kim Namjoon. He's heard the rumors himself. He's listened to drunk patrons talking about how they would do anything to sleep with the man in question.

He should be glad that Mingyu understands the truth now. He should now be deciding if he wants to text or call Mingyu back...or if he should accept the apology or not.

But why is it that he's reading one sentence in particular over and over again, the rest of the words on the screen fading into grey blurs around it.

[And I know you don't like Kim Namjoon that way]

And Jimin doesn't even know why he can't stop. The words are screaming at him now. The tone growing almost accusatory in his head.

[And I know you don't like Kim Namjoon that way]

It's what he had wanted to hear from Mingyu all along. It's what he's told Mingyu and everyone else all along. It's something he's even told himself, so why do the words sound so foreign to his ears all of a sudden.