it's just kissing | m.j ✓

CHAPTER FIFTY SIX.

Namjoon goes on his business trip to Busan as scheduled, leaving Hoseok extra busy to make sure that everything is running accordingly, and Jimin is thankful for the man's absence in hopes that he will be able to finally put a rein over his own emotional turmoil without the man's presence.

The week thus far has been rather hellish. It started off with the epiphany that he's been jealous of Wonho all this time, and that started things. Started a string of thoughts that led to self-denial, self-deprecation and even self-awareness. 

In all honesty, Jimin thinks he should've seen it coming. What made him think that he, who stupidly falls in love so easily and believes in kiddie romance, would be impervious to Kim Namjoon, who every gay man in Seoul sought after? He remembers Taehyung telling him that Kim Namjoon was more than just his looks, and after spending so much time with the man, can anyone really blame him?

So yes. Of course he'd fall for someone like him. Someone so damn amazing in every way. And of course he'd fall for someone who already has someone just as perfect right next to him. Afterall, that had been his life thus far, right? Falling for men who just aren't meant to be his? Because how would he compete against someone like Wonho? People have already made it quite clear only idiots would bother to try.

Jimin pulls the blanket over his shoulders so that he's nestled into the fabric more tightly. He's experienced heartbreaks before. Every one of his relationships had ended when he hadn't been ready to end them, so he's used to feeling miserable. But this. This was different. He can't remember feeling this kind of misery in which he's so conflicted with himself.

Jimin closes his eyes, hoping to just fall into slumber so he doesn't have to think about this anymore. Perhaps when he wakes up, he'll just get over whatever this is. It's unlikely, but he's growing desperate enough to give it a shot.

Except his phone vibrates very loudly from besides him.

Jimin groans into his pillow, figuring that it's probably Mingyu again, texting him to ask to meet up. He's told the man that he needs some time to sort things out in his head, thinking that some time will help him see everything in a clearer light. However, his situation had only grown worse since then.

And Jimin feels especially horrible about the situation, because a part of him wants to take Mingyu back only because it'd be so much easier. Perhaps he can go back to liking Mingyu and forget about Namjoon and Wonho, and as much as he hates the idea of ever using someone like this, he can't help himself. Afterall, what is the point of getting caught up on someone who he can't be with? God, only if he didn't feel so guilty about even considering that as a viable option...

Jimin reaches for his phone and turns on the screen, expecting to see another apology from Mingyu.

Except he sees that it's a message from Namjoon.

He doesn't open it immediately. Both his brain and his body sort of freeze up, because being reminded of Kim Namjoon is the last thing he needs right now. He should just ignore it and try to get some sleep. In fact, he should turn his phone off until Saturday and hope for a miracle that will ease him out of his pain.

But he's already opening the message before he can even finish his thought process, because he's an helpless idiot like that. He half-expects something work-related, because the two didn't talk all that much over texts. Namjoon simply wasn't the type of man to spend too much time on his phone. However, he sees a black rectangle as opposed to actual text.