Alexander

13

trigger warning..?

I woke to see John cuddled up into my side. I grinned, feeling myself blush. He looked so peaceful. I subconsciously started playing with his hair, which was surprisingly soft and silky. I kissed his forehead before slipping out of his grasp. I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom.

I locked the door. I turned away from the mirror and faced the wall, undressing myself. I fastened my binder, slipping my sweatshirt on over. I rushed around switching my pants, finally turning around to the mirror to fix my hair.

Fatass

Cow

Too fat

Pig

Ugly

Stop eating

Starve

Fat

Fat

Fat.

I stared, in a trance. I couldn't look away. My eyes roamed my body, telling me every single thing wrong about myself. I snapped out of it when I heard John knocking on the door.

"Lex? Ya good?"

"Yeah, fixing my hair." I called back. I fixated my attention on my hair, not my ugly body. I pulled the stringy dark brown mess into a ponytail, internally sighing as the pieces of hair in the back fell out. I decided it was good enough and grabbed my pajamas, opening the door.

But not before I got another good look at my disgusting body.

-

Fatass. You don't need food. I bet everyone at this table is staring at you and talking about what a fat b-

"Alex?"

I looked up. Green eyes stared into mine.

"Yea?"

"You okay? You keep zoning out." John's voice was laced with concern. I nodded, poking at the spaghetti noodles that sat on my tray.

"Are you going to eat?" John asked.

"No."

"Are you sure? When's the last time you ate something?"

He was getting annoying.

"I'm not hungry." I hissed.

"Really? If you don't want to eat in front of me, I get it, I can-"

"I'm not fucking hungry! Leave me alone!" I exclaimed, standing from the table. I stormed off to the bathrooms, not caring that John was calling my name.

Let him call me. He probably doesn't really care. He thinks you're fat like everyone else does.