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Parkchanyeol: i got the phone call at 3 in the morning. i remember telling myself "its not your fault", but it was. im sorry i hurt you. im so terribly sorry baek. you deserved someone better. but i couldn't let you go. im sorry i loved you too much. i couldn't help myself. look at you. you're the most beautiful person ive ever seen. your personality isn't staged either. its the best thing about you. your smile was all i needed to be whipped. your hair, it was fluffy and bouncy. your eyes. the only thing i saw with your beautiful eyes was love. but that wasn't to me. that was to him. and that's where it started. him. i did it because i loved you but that isn't a good reason. there's no good reason actually. ive told myself countless times, "he loves you" even when i was lying. im sorry i caused the pain. i stayed up every night just to call you and tell you how much of an idiot i was and i loved you. too much. i loved and still love you too much. im not there at your side because the members won't let me see you. i understand. heechul even came to my house and attacked me. literally. did i stop him? no. i deserved it. he loves you. they all do. unfortunately, i was too late. i said "goodbye" and you smiled.
