I was in pain.
Mostly, i wasn't happy. I wasn't happy with anything. The pain was agonizing that i had to endure. I was so alone. No one was there. Minnie and dae tried but i was hopeless. Chanyeol, well, didn't care. Eomma, he didn't have time. Kai, he was with kyungsoo. Sehun, i pushed him away. He didn't come back. Lay, he knew. He knew what was going on. He helped me along with minnie and dae but i was just too hard headed. I'm here to tell you, my heart was full of memories i wanted to forget. His name taunting me, haunting me, quietly. I saw things no one else did. It doesn't end. The agony was getting to the point where i felt nothing. I love the feel to not feel at all. Couldn't you hear me? I was screaming. Look at me. I'll be gone. Hopefully. I don't want to wake up. I want to leave this hell. I'd rather take my chances with the devil himself. Open the gates and invite me in. Close the gates and hide from everyone else. The other fucked up people in chains, begging to be let out while you hear Satan say "You're mine."
Well, i guess it's my time to go, im running out of space to write. Yes, i lost my. Please, hold on tight. I'm watching below you. Just an average kpop singer huh? Got older and things got colder. Life's not what i wish someone had told me. Always wore a smile. Lasted for a short while. Now it's over. Look at me! Are you proud!? I guess you're not. Did i grow up according to plan!? As i take this needle, i tell myself "No one would ever know you're gone." As i sit here, with a smile on my face, "Don't worry, it will all be over soon." Now i have to put it in and breathe my final breath. It's done. I put it in. I'm greeting death. This world is just not my place. I've tried for so long to fix things and fit in. I've come to realize this world is full of sin. There's nothing for me here. I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. It's a disgrace, i was misplaced. Born at the wrong time and wrong place. And you'll see me soon, when you know your time has come, look at the moon. As it shines bright, throughout the night, remember, everyone's facing there own fight. But i can't deal with the pain, I'm not a fighter. And i know in one year, you'll forget me, cause im not something to be dwelled on. My presence on here is not needed any longer, and if anything, i hope this makes you stronger. Minnie, dae, both of you, you're the bestfriend that i ever had, such a shame i had to make you so very sad. Just remember that you both meant everything to me and to my heart you're the only one's who held they key. So this is it, goodbye.
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